Eloping help!

If you have a ceremony and invite guests, you should at least take them out to dinner. I think getting a private room at a restaurant for a small dinner party would be perfect.

We got an elopement package through a planner that included officiant, photographer, DOC, flowers, cake, and recommendations for any services not included in the package fee (lodging, HMUA, dinner etc). We were limited to 30 guests, which was a perfect amount for us to bring just parents, siblings and nieces/nephews. The planner put me in touch with several restaurants with private or semi private rooms and from there I worked with the one we chose to set up a limited menu, champagne toast, etc.

I did a small wedding with 20, after the ceremony we rented a room in a restaurant, and it was absolutely perfect. I think that is a great way to do it!

View Quoted Comment Were you able to play music? Did you guys have first dance?

Hi Ashlyn!

I totally understand and love the idea of your destination elopement/ceremony with just close family and friends!

I have seen some couples rent a room in a restaurant or catered venue for those who attended to celebrate over dinner afterwards. From there, leaving for their honeymoon, wherever that might be.

Another thought: I also once saw a couple who chose a city they loved (theirs was New Orleans) as their honeymoon destination, from there decided to make this their elopement spot to invite their small group of close family to. They used the city as their "after party/reception" and honeymoon spot. The small group of guests stuck around after the ceremony for dinner and then they used the city as their "party/reception" and went to different bars downtown together. The bride and groom stayed in the city days longer, to enjoy it just the two of them as their honeymoon thereafter. That way, ceremony, "reception", and honeymoon end up being in the same location with a more close-knit group.

Where are you considering eloping? What did you have in mind so far?

Well we wouldn’t have a real honeymoon till probably next year sometime. So we wanted to have very small wedding somewhere in Austin. My fiancé and I found small private cottages outside Austin in the hill country where you have a private pool/hotub it’s a bed and breakfast. There are hiking trails, and kayaking things we like to do! Also, massages! So that would be our Mini weekend honeymoon before the real thing!

I'm interested to know how it goes for you.

My future mother in law keeps telling us she'll pay us to elope. Like..... We aren't even engaged yet, he's only just had me pick the ring, and she has been saying that for a year. Personally, I'm afraid to put too much consideration toward eloping, because I'm afraid I'll start wanting to. My fear is that my close friends and my close family (I have a big extended family that we're very close to) will be sad if they don't get to be a part of my wedding. Those are just worries though... I do feel that they could get over it and it would all be okay.

All that aside,

For you, I think that a small dinner party would be really nice, so that you can have that time with your closest family and friends. That would be my preference, so that I could connect with every person there before I left.

View Quoted Comment

Ooh, that's very interesting. Is there a link to that package? I should google it to see what things are available in my area.

View Quoted Comment

That's what my FMIL is suggesting, she's saying we should elope in Jamaica and everyone else will hang out at one resort while we honeymoon at another resort, so that we have our space.

I have a huge family! My fiancé has very few family members and friends. Unfortunately we’re paying for everything so we can’t afford to have this big wedding with 200 people, even if I could afford it I don’t think I would be okay with spending 15-20k for a party pretty much for everyone else. We’ve always been a pretty private couple we both have a few close friends and that’s it! I love my family but in the end it’s your decision and they’ll still love you no matter what!

View Quoted Comment

We did! We had to bring in our own sound equipment, which was easy to rent, and we had a background music going off of a playlist we made for most of the night. Then we we wanted to do first dance and the father/daughter + mother/son dance we were able to switch over to that.

I don't know where you are looking, but if you are in the STL area I would highly recommend where we had ours!

View Quoted Comment We're from MN, but were throwing around the idea of getting married in Colorado, so I just googled and found this planner (originally I was trying to convince him to elope, but then we realized we'd be able to bring all our VIPs with this package). I'd try searching for "elopement packages in (your location)" and see if anyone near you offers something similar.

View Quoted Comment They have people who will do the whole elopement package for you, but you still have to find a venue and pay for that separately. In the end could be pretty expensive still.

View Quoted Comment Anything can be expensive depending on exactly what you're looking for. In our case it's still cheaper than doing a big traditional wedding at home (even with travel costs) and we get more of what we want.

View Quoted Comment

I totally get you. I think having a small group to celebrate your wedding will be lovely. I hope it will be a memory you can treasure forever.

I do have a huge family, but he doesn't. For example...Alex's grandparents have all passed away, he has one living uncle who never got married or had kids, and a deceased uncle whose estranged family is on bad terms with his parents... So he has him, his parents, and his brother and sister. Now they have family friends they've known for 20 years that are their family, but even then, the guest list of his family is like 12 people (20 if you count their kids), whereas the guest list of my family members is literally 57 people. That's people I have to invite to my wedding.

I get overwhelmed when I think about how much it's going to cost to feed all those people...because even if we do Olive Garden catering, where it comes down to $5.25 per person to get a "serving" of salad, soup, and breadsticks, that's not including equipment to keep the food hot, tables and chairs and everything you need for catering. I'm doing preliminary research before we're even engaged since our engagement will be short (per my parents' wishes), so I don't have anyone to consult with on these issues yet since I can't make decisions until we're engaged. Ack.

I wish you all the best, and thanks for the encouragement

View Quoted Comment

You will not be able to properly host 20 people for $15 to $20K, so eloping sounds like a great idea. You could rent a room in a restaurant and perhaps have an officiant come to the room and marry you there if you wish.

We hosted 50 people (44 attended) our wedding lunch after a ceremony in an arboretum, no dance but we had a musician playing. It was excellent and I would not change a thing.

Best wishes!

Really, all you need is you, groom, license and officiant and perhaps two witnesses, depending on the state. The rest is extra!!!

We are getting married in Santorini so we’re combining the wedding + honeymoon at the same location. We aren’t inviting anyone, so it’ll be just the two of us. When we get back we’ll probably throw a celebration dinner, but not a reception. Just a get together with family and friends to announce the wedding and celebrate.

We’ve decided to do the same thing. Do what you want and don’t feel obligated to feed people an entire meal afterward. I’ve been doing lots of research and have seen where people rent an AirBnB to have the ceremony and a catered dinner/appetizers/cake & punch afterward. Many restaurants have private and semi-private dining areas. Mexican restaurants will accommodate any number. Best of luck to you and good job for choosing to do what you want to do!

My husband and I had only 40 people at our wedding. We were able to be at a 5 star restaurant and basically had a beautiful dinner party. We had a wedding cake. No music was necessary other than a harp in the background. We had wonderfu toasts, we cut the cake, and had a wonderful time. But after the honeymoon.....we rented a loft in Soho, catered hordeurves and waiters, made it black tie and showed the video of our wedding in a loop in the background on a giant screen. It was all friends, no family, no stress. Perfect! We had a blast!

View Quoted Comment That sounds great! I’m from New York and love Colorado for a small weddding, but I’m seriously considering eloping. What planner did you use?