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Neisha
Just Said Yes May 2020

Eloping & Wedding Dress Shopping

Neisha, on July 9, 2019 at 1:32 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
My fiancé and I have decided to elope this October. None our family is aware for obvious reasons. My mom & God Mom want to go wedding dress shopping in a week. I agreed to go to help appease them but I am not sure how the day will go since they are both unaware of my plans. Knowing my God Mom she’s probably going to want to purchase my dress, I won’t allow it to happen. I typically wouldn’t ask for advice on a forum but that’s the purpose of being apart of this community.

So What should I do?
I know the answer to the question yet I’ve decided to ask anyway!

5 Comments

Latest activity by Meghan, on July 10, 2019 at 3:52 PM
  • Anna
    Super April 2020
    Anna ·
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    I hope this is not a dumb question but are you planning on not inviting them? My fiance and I are doing something like that. We are only inviting our immediate families, they dont even know the date. But about the dress? I dont know, you might want her to help you out. Both my fh and I are paying for everything. I took my mom and his mom to help me pick out a dress. Even though we want to pay for everything, I was sad when no one offered to help me pay. Even though I would've decline, It would've been nice. I would just let them. But if you really dont want them to pay, make it known like I did and they probably wont lol.
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  • Brittanie
    Dedicated June 2020
    Brittanie ·
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    My husband and I were in VA while our friends and family were here in TX, so we eloped there without asking or telling. My family found out through friends on social media, but they weren't all that upset because all we really did was get the legalities out of the way. The deal was that once he got out of the Navy and we returned home to TX, we'd have a real wedding and include our friends and family, so that's what we're doing now after 2 years of marriage already down. I think already being married is my favorite thing about planning the wedding because it's one less big thing we have to worry about. Whether y'all choose to have a wedding or not, I think eloping is a fine idea. It's frowned upon for all the wrong reasons, but ultimately it's your decision, not theirs, and honestly you're saving yourselves a LOT of money and time even if you do end up having the wedding some other day in the future or not at all.

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  • Clíodhna
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
    Clíodhna ·
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    Welcome to the WeddingWire community, Neisha!

    I’m so happy you came to the community for advice Smiley heart You’re correct, it totally is the purpose of it!

    How do you think your Mom and God Mom will react once you and your FS announce you eloped? If you think they will be upset, the fact you went dress shopping without them knowing you were going to elope may hurt them even more.

    You mention you know the answer to the question already, what do you feel is the right thing to do here?

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  • Alli
    Devoted October 2020
    Alli ·
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    Listen to your gut. If you think they will be happy to help you pick out a dress even though you elope, go for it. But if that's the case, you should be able to openly tell them your plans. If you think they will react badly and be hurt... go ahead and tell them before the shopping and see what they want to do. It's you and your FH's day. So be strong and stand up for what the two of YOU want.

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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Will you wear any type of wedding dress during your elopement? If so, try on dresses that you think will be appropriate for what you and your FH are planning. Your mom and God Mom don't have to know your plans, they can just think that is the vibe you are going for.

    If you are planning on inviting them eventually, then maybe surprising them with the elopement announcement at the bridal salon/store could be a fun thing to do.

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