Engagement party and bridal shower

Engagement parties are very common in some areas/social circlesand completely unheard of in others. Never expect anyone to host it for you.

It is highly rude to host/plan your own shower. If your family/friends/coworkers/clubs do not host one, then you don't get one. The only planning contribution you make to the shower besides letting friends know where you are registered, dates you're available and a guestlist of those invited to the wedding.

Do you want mother in law's help? All decisions and payments need to be made by you and fiance only.

You shouldn't assume anyone will host a party for you whether it's your engagement, bachelorette or bridal shower, and it's not very common to plan it for yourself. You can hint at it, but at the end of the day either someone steps up and decides for themselves to throw you a party, or they don't. If your future mother in law brings it up, then she is free to plan it, but if no one brings it up, then you just move on. With covid, I don't think too many people are throwing full on engagement parties lately.

None of the above. They’ll offer if they want to throw one.

Pre-wedding events/parties (ie, engagement parties, wedding showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, etc.) are all optional and never required. They are only had when someone offers to throw them for the couple. So if someone wants to volunteer to throw any sort of pre-wedding party for you they can, but you shouldn’t ask them to or hint for them to.

You can plan your own engagement party I think but not your own bridal shower. An engagement party can be more hey peeps come over for some food and music and celebrate with us! A bridal shower is more of a gift giving type of event so if you host your own, it is kinda distasteful. Maybe just mention it to your fiancé’s mom in casual conversation and see how she reacts to it. But her hosting/planning is totally optional and should not be expected.

Sharing my experience—my mother in law and sister in law hosted my bridal shower and engagement party. I didn’t ask or hinted, since I didn’t expect anything, but they initiated and covered all the costs and planning. I think the consensus here is right, I hope someone steps up for you. If not, I think it’s more of a reflection of people’s knowledge base and social mannerisms. Even with Covid, someone can host a simple virtual party. Good luck.

If people want to throw you a party/shower, they will. No need to hint at one or throw your own. I will say this: don't get discouraged or upset if no one throws you an engagement party. They are becoming popular, but are def. not a necessary part of pre-wedding events!

As others have stated, if friends or family would like to host a wedding related event for you, they will. Hosting your own or hinting for someone else to do it is considered rude.

You don't throw anything for yourself or hint at someone to do it. If someone wants to throw one, they will approach you about it.

My mom threw us an engagement party but I wasn't terribly interested in it. She just likes parties. If you want to, I think it's completely appropriate to throw yourselves an engagement party. Just don't paint it as or expect it to be a gift-giving event (some people will bring gifts anyway... personally I felt weird accepting them but whatever). It is not appropriate to expect or ask someone else to throw you one. Same goes for shower and bachelorette. If someone throws you a shower then you get one, and if not then you don't. If your FMIL offers to throw you a shower, great! But I wouldn't ask her to do it. For the bachelorette, I think it would be fine to invite a few girls over for a ladies night, or out to dinner. But again... this would be something you are hosting and not expecting them to do for you.