Engagement party

You and your FH need to simply have a talk with your FH parents and let them know that you would rather keep it small and have only close family and friends!

View Quoted Comment I plan to talk to them but what do we do about the people who they have already invited? Just take it back?

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I would leave the people that are invited because I feel like it would be alot to uninvite them. Is it alot that they already invited? Or only like 10 people?

View Quoted Comment I think around 20 and some we don’t like/don’t know

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You could always have your FH parents "uninvite" them but that would probably just cause drama. I personally would allow them to just be a part of the engagement party (the ones that I didn't know) especially since the parents are paying but they definitely wouldn't be invited to the wedding. As far as the people you don't like, I wouldn't allow them. I feel like that's disrespectful for them to even invite them knowing you don't like them.

To be honest, you don't have to invite those people to your wedding. It may be expected, but there's no must. Are his parents paying for anything? That would complicate things. But if they aren't, just let them invite their crowd to the engagement party and make your own guest list for the wedding.

I would express your concerns to your in-laws who are hosting and inviting these extra people. I would not uninvite anyone to the party, as it would instantly cause hurt feelings. I would let the future in-laws know that these people won’t be invited to the actual wedding and that inviting any more of them to the engagement party but not wedding will lead to uncomfortable conversations down the road!

You will definitely need to set some boundaries with the parents because they are just so excited that they want everyone to be there to show and tell you know? Which is perfectly normal! But they need to also know and hear where you guys are coming from. I'm sure they will understand. Unless are they paying towards your guys wedding? Because my rule for my wedding is "unless you're gonna pay, then you don't have a say." LOL!