Engagement Party

The rule of thumb is that anyone who gets invited to a pre-wedding event (engagement party, shower, etc.) gets an invite to the wedding. Are you and your fiancé both ok with all 115 of those people getting an invite to the wedding? If you don't know them that well or would consider B-listing them to the wedding, they're likely the first people you'd cut from the invite list for the actual wedding if you needed to for space, cost, etc., but once they get invited to one party then you're supposed to invite them to the wedding.

I've always viewed engagement parties as a way to celebrate your engagement rather than announce it, so I think a smaller party with just close family and friends would be the way to go.

I second Paige. Never invite anyone to pre-wedding events that you’re thinking you may not want to invite to the wedding. It is bad etiquette and will result in hurt feelings. You should have your final (or close to final) guest list before throwing the engagement party. Agree that the engagement party purpose is more to celebrate the engagement than announce it.
We personally didn’t throw one because Delta was going around in May/June of 2021, but if we had been able to, I would have only invited people who I knew absolutely were not going to get cut, like family and close friends, and also limit to only those in town. Not many people would be willing to fly in for that. They would prioritize the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thanks ladies. Since this is my second wedding, I'm just making sure my partner gets what she wants. I am a different type of Bride lol and not too concerned with hurt feelings, even though I should. We don't have any out of town guests so that helps! Thanks for the advice and we are gonna talk about it!

Definitely do not invite anyone who will not be receiving a save the date and invitation. That means anyone you plan to B list would not be invited. You can always host them in your home after the wedding.


Also engagement parties are not common in every social circle or family.

View Quoted Comment I dont like save the dates, didn't send them in my first wedding so I'm not sending them in this one. The B list people (24) were there when we got engaged are on the main list but once we pick a venue and we have a limited amount then a few of them will be cut. I will keep all this is mind. Thanks!

It's considered rude to invite people to an engagement party that you won't be inviting to the wedding. Why ask people to take time to celebrate something that they aren't welcome to participate in?

It's also against etiquette to throw parties in your own honour.

Have the 24 "b-listers" already been invited? How do you plan on cutting them?

You're not getting married for more than two years, and things do change. I'd hold off on planning for a bit. Establish your budget first, then your guest list, then people can plan parties for you once you know who will be attending.

View Quoted Comment Ok thanks everyone. We will decide together!