Engagement ring rant

I had a somewhat similar situation. I had my heart set on a ring and got a different one. This was with my first engagement. I even made my fiancé come back with me and try on the one I had my heart set on. He was very understanding and patient. I went tried it on. (It was actually cheaper lol) tried it on and didn't like it as much as the one he picked out. Turns out he picked one that was more for me than I realized.


I would talk to him about it and explain that don't mean to dismiss his choice. You should be able to talk about it openly. Maybe he reasons why.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for your comment I honestly was feeling really really terrible for feeling how I do.

My friend told her fiancé what she wanted and instead he got her what he wanted her to have. I'm not sure why guys do that. Did you ask him? I'm just curious his reasoning.

View Quoted Comment I actually haven’t had the talk yet to be honest I’m a little nervous love him to death but I know it’ll hurt his feelings when he knows how I feel

I chose my engagement ring with my fiancé, we bought it together and he kept it until he was ready to propose. It's .25ct diamond on 2mm 14k gold. For a little but, I really wished it was rose gold, but the yellow gold was on sale for half the price of the other one. After about a month, I got over the rose gold thing, and I love my timeless, simple ring. I feel like it's very representative of our relationship.

Maybe it's terrible advice, but if I were you, I would just stick it out with this ring. You may come to love it. But you can always just get the diamond swapped out with a natural one, too -- that's not too hard to do. Maybe a little pricey, though.

I’m sorry to hear that about your ring. My fiancé and I chose my ring and we were VERY close to purchasing a lab diamond but it didn’t sit right with me.

I know what you’re going through. Maybe hint at some diamond earrings to accessorize with your ring? That way you get those diamonds in?

I may be the lone dissenter here, but IMO he picked out a ring (that I hope) he thought you would like. Months before H proposed he sent me a link to a bunch of engagement rings and asked me to pick out ones that I liked. He took that information and went on his own to get my ring, and I wouldn't change it for anything. It meant more to me that he took the initiative and put thought into what I would like rather than have me with him saying "pick out what you like" (No disrespect to those out there who's FS's and S's did this!) Not knowing the difference between a "lab created diamond" and a "natural" diamond, I would think they look the same, have the same sparkle and shine and at the end of the day, it may not be the big deal you think it is.

Admittedly the toss up is this: is telling your FH your thoughts on the ring he picked out worth the hurt you admitted would cause? I get the disappointment in not getting the ring you wanted, but it's a ring, you can always upgrade down the road.

If it makes me you feel better most people can't tell the difference. Even you described your friend's ring as gorgeous. Lab created diamonds are beautiful, more ethical, and more reasonably priced. I'm sure your ring is lovely. Also you don't have to explain to anyone that your diamond was lab created.

Thank you all so much for your lovely and helpful advice. I love my ring the one that I was purposed with and I intend on keeping it on my hand. I love the man that gave it to me and that’s all that matters at this point in my life like you all said. We have discussed to upgrade in the future maybe a 10 year anniversary! but as of now I am 100% satisfied and completey happy with my ring. Your advice really really helped me get through this thank you all so much!

I completely understand what you are saying . My Fiancée and I talk about rings and were in the middle of building a home. I told him it was up to him if he wanted to use my Aunts Diamond from a ring that was in my family. I left that up to him and told him that he could ask My mother for it anytime. Going into debt while trying to build a home just seemed ridiculous. He chose to use my aunts stone..... and he knows I want an upgrade on our five year . My aunts stone is a nice size (1.3 ct) but has several inclusions .

I was the opposite I didn't want a diamond but a pink morganite I had my heart set on. I got my morganite but after our engagement people would comment why I didn't get a diamond like my FH was slighting me by not getting me "a real ring". I'm a blunt person and I immediately told those people where they could stick it. So rude!

Don't sweat it and don't feel like you have to explain that it's not a natural diamond. Most don't even know the difference. Just say diamond and leave it at that.

You should watch Adam Ruins Everything and you might feel better.

An earth created diamond is NOT a better investment in the future. Diamonds are not a good investment in general. They pretty much depreciate the moment you buy them.

Most people (and by most I mean almost everyone, even trained gemologists) cannot tell the difference between the earth made and lab made diamonds because they ARE the same. It is literally the same chemical composition.

And lab diamonds are not inherently cheaper because they aren't sprouting up from the ground. If you actually look it up, you'll see that they are sometimes only a few hundred dollars cheaper, if not more expensive than their natural counterparts.

View Quoted Comment Girl I agree with you I had my heart set on a rose gold emerald cut ering my mom was the first one to point out it wasn't a diamond and my reaction was just like well this is what I wanted. I will not apologize for having my own likes and dislikes. I love my ring and nothing about our relationship or even our wedding was very traditional and that's what we wanted.

I totally understand your feelings... I wanted something unusual and custom. Not an out of the case already tried on by hundreds of other women ring. But... he didn't listen. I wanted a sapphire because it stands for loyalty, but he got me the second ring. I don't want to tell him because he did pick it out... but

If it makes you feel better, diamonds aren’t actually that rare. Only by carefully restricting the supply the diamond company De Beers has been able to keep the price of diamonds high. I personally also love a diamond but in reality they are just a really successful marketing campaign and they aren't really an investment piece, they lose value the second they leave the store...lol kind of like a car.

I totally understand though how you feel and its frustrating because you clearly told him and he didn't listen but I am sure your ring is beautiful and what matters is it's a symbol of your commitment. I am more into the sentimentality of things and the concept of a starter rings isn't really for me but it's something you guys could consider doing and maybe "upgrading" for one of your anniversaries.

I get it. I would have been pretty sad if I had received a fake diamond but in the end they all sparkle the same. As long as it's a quality lab created diamond it will last a long time and not get chipped. Maybe it's all FH could afford and he would rather you have a bigger stone than a very small real one. Guys don't quite have the same love of diamonds that we do(most of the time anyways). Maybe upgrade one day. At the end of the day he loves you and you love him and you get to marry him!

View Quoted Comment

I'M GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING!!! I've always had my heart set on a gemstone ring rather than I diamond. I personally just dont like diamonds. FH picked out a GORGEOUS peach morganite set in rose gold and people immediately started asking when I was going to get my "real ring". Like THIS IS MY REAL RING! It's exactly everything I want! FH went above and beyond picking it out, and got a killer deal on it (Yay Zale's clearance!)