Engagement

I would let it go. Everyone has different experiences. It's okay to be annoyed that things did not go according to plan, but don't let that ruin the excitement!

My proposal wasn't a surprise. We were discussing our future and decided to get engaged. It did not take away the magic of marrying the love of my life and my best friend. You're focusing on the trees instead of the forest. It's understandable to want to be surprised, but I don't think it will take away from the magic.

I sort of knew mine was happening the weekend it happened too. I didn't know exactly when or how. He took me to the place where we had our first date. At that point I figured it would be that day because it was a place that was sentimental to us. The surprise happened when he took me down to a spot we discovered together on our first date (I had forgotten it was there) and he asked me if I remembered the place. I said yes, then he asked me about if I was sure I wanted us to NOT write our own vows at our wedding. I was confused because we had talked about that at length while we had been dating (I did not want to write our own vows because I wasn't sure I could get through it without bawling). That is when he got down on one knee and recited the personal vows he wrote to me since I wouldn't be able to hear them at the wedding. Then he asked me to marry him. All that to say.........even though it really didn't come as a complete surprise, it was still the most beautiful proposal I could have imagined. There were elements of surprise even though I had a feeling it was coming. Don't get caught up in your own head about your own expectations of how your proposal will be. It will be beautiful regardless because this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and he is taking the time to make it be special for you regardless if you know some details about it or not. It will be wonderful and you will be able to tell stories about it to your family and future children someday (if you want to have children that is).

You're being ridiculous. Let it go and enjoy your vacation, enjoy the suspense of not knowing where or when it'll happen. If you let one disagreement ruin your proposal you'll keep having negative feelings and ruminate, it'll ruin wedding planning. Be sure to look into couple's counseling if you keep ruminating over it.
Also look on the bright side, you know to dress nicely, and have your hair done for photos when it does happen!

My FH completely ruined the surprise AND literally forgot to propose at the spot he was planning on. We got to the top of the mountain and he forgot lol. So we started the hike back down and I was like, "Hey honey, did you forget something??" It was hilarious and soooo typical of my FH. Just because the proposal wasn't some perfectly planned surprise that knocked your socks off, doesn't make it any less special. Now we have a funny story to tell our future children and they can laugh at their dad for being such a goob. Stop stressing and just enjoy this moment.

You need to chill. You basically just said that you'll be upset if it happens because you know it's coming, but you'll also be upset if it doesn't happen because you're expecting it. So what exactly does he need to do to make you happy? The important thing is that he's asking you to marry him, not some grand surprise or the way you pictured your proposal. This isn't yours to plan. Let it go.

I don't think it's an issue

I knew mine was going to happen, just didn't know when... I was STILL anxious and excited. I just told myself not to expect it at certain times because then if it didn't happen, I would be upset. So I kinda just let it go and on the day I was LEAST expecting it, it happened. An engagement is an engagement. The magic cannot be taken out of that. Just let it go and let it happen.

I would let it go. Enjoy the trip and don’t expect it! You will be much more surprised not knowing when and where.

This is something you only get to do once. Do not cloud it with anxiety and anger that's not needed. You are getting engaged! It's ok to feel a little upset for a moment knowing it's not going to be exactly how you planned, but focus on the good or you won't enjoy this memory. You don't want to be telling people about your engagement and looking at photos of it and seeing what could have been and feeling fake about your enjoyment. Take a day, think out all the negatives, and then write out ALL the good things. Be able to look back on that note you wrote out and remember, 5 years from now, reading your hubby that list of good things at an anniversary dinner, saying "I was so concerned it wouldn't be perfect, but then I remembered all these good things and was so excited to finally be engaged and go on that vacation" instead of thinking there is no way you'll stop being upset no matter what happens.
I wanted a cute, private moment alone, flowers around, maybe a picnic, and someone to take a photo of it. In the end, we had a moment in a parking lot after a really nice morning and as we were saying goodbye I said, "this would be a good moment to propose", so he did! Later in the day, for a brief time, I was a little sad, I won't lie. I feel the same! There are no pictures! All I asked for is X, and it didn't happen, this isn't how I wanted the story to be! Why did I say that, I've been talking about what I want for so long, did I really want this? But that discontentment was not long lasting, and not my fiances fault at all, even though yes, same as you, earlier in the week the surprise of what was supposed to happen had been ruined. It took a few minutes to stop being so uptight, I'll admit, but it was wrong of me to be so focused on how it all went down. Thinking about how I felt looking at him that morning, that feeling that made me say "I can't wait any longer, I just want more normal mornings like this with you!", I realized that none of it mattered, I was finally one step closer to marrying this amazing man! Breathe, let go, and remember: when you see that ring, none of this will be on your mind, all you'll be thinking is: you're finally are engaged!
That feeling you're feeling of resentment about your engagement not going exactly your way is not unique to you, especially with how most engagements are surprises, its SO easy for us to feel, for a quick moment, like our moment doesn't compare to our friends moments or our dream of what it should be, ESPECIALLY when you feel like the one thing you asked for was just so easy, how could he not have made it happen for me? If I had just had more control over this situation! It's not ridiculous to have a moment of pity party weakness, we are human. But dwelling on it and thinking there is no way you won't be upset, no matter what he does now, that's not ok. Remember all the work he is putting into this. You said you were hoping he'd do it on vacation, and he is planning on it, so I'm sure many other aspects of your engagement will be exactly what you wanted! Remember he has gone out, bought an expensive ring, and he is nervous, more than ever now that you know and that an argument is involved! The biggest thing, really, is that if you are stuck in "well now I will be upset if it's on vacation or if it's not, I'm mad either way!" then guess what? You'll be mad either way. You will ruin this moment for yourself and him! So just think on the good, don't let the bad cloud you. Be present for the great memory you're both about to make.

You shouldn’t be upset either way. 1. You were hoping it would happen if the vacation, so if it happens you got what you were hoping for! 2. If it doesn’t happen he might be waiting for another time to actually surprise you like you were telling him you wanted.

My advice: proposals don’t always go like you see in movies and on YouTube. Sometimes it’s not extravagant, sometimes things go wrong, sometimes it’s not that picture perfect proposal where she cries and all the family and friends are there to cheer. My fiancé proposed to me in our living room, without even having a ring present. (Long story short, he was overseas and ordered one to be ready to be picked up on his way from the airport but Zales messed up and lost his order. And it was going to be quite a while longer than he was expecting to get it) he didn’t want to wait so he proposed with a photo of the ring. And yes, it’s not ideal but I didn’t care in that moment and even looking back now.

Whats important is that he wants to take this step with you, and make commitments to you that will last a lifetime. He’s saying “I know there’s no one better fit for me than you”. That alone should be enough for you, and once you think of it in that way I don’t think you will be upset whenever and however he decides to ask (: just enjoy the moment whenever it happens, because he’s choosing you over everyone else in the entire world, and that’s a pretty big and special deal (:

I didn’t get to be surprised because my fiancé wanted me to move across the country and I said no unless we were engaged. He wanted to do it after we moved but I wasn’t taking that risk. We’re just as much happy and excited about our wedding as ever.

You're making it into a big deal, and there is nothing that can be done now to change that you "know" I was in a similar situation where FH told me a 6 week span that it would happen within. Yes, I wish it was MORE of a surprise but it was still a surprise when it actually happened. (we went away too, so I knew as soon as we were going away that it was happening that weekend).

It was still a beautiful memory and I was very excited happy when it happened!

A year from now, you'll forget about this and the best part will just be proposal. We got into a HUGE fight like 4 days before this trip to Nashville bc I assumed he'd propose on the trip and he let is slip that he hadn't bought a ring. Apparently, he had been planning this proposal for 6 months and hes just a procrastinator and didn't realize you can't just go to the store and pick up a perfectly sized ring. So I felt REALLL bad when day 2 of our vacation he proposed in front of all our friends in Nashville. A year later, I forget about the fight and the fact that he didn't have a ring yet and everything else. I am just happy to be marrying him and honestly, there is MUCH worse problems in a marriage that the fact that your proposal wasn't a surprise. Wait until you start wedding planning and realize how stressful that is.....haha.

*EDIT: to clarify, he ended up buying a ring the day before we left (i guess? he had it in nashville) but it was too big so when we got back, we had to have it sized.