Hey, all,
I'd love some advice from brides who have an estranged relationship from their father.
To try to paint an accurate picture without going into too many details, let's just say that my life at home growing up was not pretty. I moved far away for college and have stayed away ever since. As the years went by, I sought healing at church and from a trained therapist. I'm blessed to say that I've taken a lot of steps forward.
That being said, my dad has not. He fails to see how his actions have taken a heavy psychological toll on me (and my mother, but I can't fight her battles too). I tried on my mother's wedding dress while I was home, and he knocked and asked if he could come in too. Y'all, his face just LIT UP. He was so excited for me and came up to stand face to face with me. When I asked what he was doing, he said he was seeing how it would look like when we have our first dance.
We barely speak. My heart is still broken over what happened when I was younger. But he wants to walk me down the aisle, and he wants a father-daughter dance. I've tried everything--asking him to go to counseling together with me so we can work things out, etc--but he refuses. It's like he just wants to pretend nothing bad ever happened, and the thought of him suddenly acting like the World's Proudest Dad on my wedding day, after he did so much damage, makes my stomach churn.
Any advice? I'm pretty set on walking down the aisle by myself. I've made my journey to healing and adulthood without him, and I don't see why I now need to be on his arm to make my journey to the altar. But I'm not sure how to avoid the daddy/daughter dance without things looking awkward. Most of my family knows he had anger issues, but a lot of our guests know nothing about it. Will it look obvious if we skip it? Raise too many questions?
I don't know how to handle this. Thanks everyone.
