Hi all, I used this site back in my wedding planning days, and now am helping my mother with brother's wedding. My parents intend to offer the happy couple up to $50k towards their wedding, but are very mindful about not wanting to upstage the bride's parents. Their intent is to offer to pay for specific items, rather than give them a lump sum (being given the cash to keep is also not an option). Any suggestions for handling this diplomatically?
They will of course cover the rehearsal dinner, but a current topic is the photographer. My mother would like to hire (and pay for) the photographer we used for my wedding (he's about $5k). But she also doesn't want the bride to feel like she HAS to hire this guy. I expect this scenario may play out a few times over- my mom likes the vendor I used, will happily pay for such vendor, but doesn't want the bride to feel obligated. So, how would you phrase this? My current "draft" for my mother to my FSIL is:
"If you'd like to hire a (photographer/band/wedding planner) we would really like to pay for it. We really liked X vendor that Lilah used, but you are welcome to select whomever you like- just let us know and we will send a deposit."
Is this too pushy? How would you word/phrase it?
