Etiquette when having an informal version of a bridal party

I think you're trying to have a wedding party without having a wedding party. If you're wanting your people to dress in a sort of theme, I think you should just ask them. Otherwise it might come across weird about asking them to dress the way you want them to. You can still sit them in the front row and do all the other things, but call them the wedding party. It think it will be a lot clearer for everyone.

I agree with the prior post, plus if they’re walking down the aisle you’ll probably want to include them in the rehearsal (so then the rehearsal dinner). Between that, the color requirements, and asking them to plan the bachelorette, they are a bridal party. If you’re mainly concerned about it looking uneven during the ceremony, I would stick to your plan of having them sit in the front row but for all other intents and purposes great them as bridesmaids.

You're giving them all the burdens of a bridal party without the title or honor


This gets confusing and offensive fast. It's not advisable
I'd just be all, Hey, come drop in the bridal suite while I'm getting ready if you have a chance.

I agree with all those above. It's not an honor, just obligation. Plus in my experience, women at a certain age would rather wear what they feel most beautiful in if given the option. I would resent a dress theme for no specific reason. You can still invite them to get ready with you which is special enough.

This is exactly a wedding party. Just have who you want, you don't need to make it "informal".

Thanks all. Sounds like I should just call them my bridesmaids/man but not do all of the typical bridesmaid things.

So, this still brings me back to what to do about his sister. I think he'd be fine with his sister and brother-in-law sitting in the first row on his side and being in pictures with him (since they're going to have a big role anyway), which gets us to 3-ish on his side (though I still don't know if that really makes them groomspeople). I could pretty easily exclude my male friend (he's a solo dad to a 1 year old so it's hard for him to participate much the day of anyway), but then I feel like the expectation would be for me to add his sister to my bridal party....which keeps the numbers just as uneven.

Obviously some of this I just need to talk to my fiance about, but I'm trying to work through my thoughts first. He's already going to have a much smaller representation at the wedding since almost all of his friends are out of state and not able to travel easily, and he's not close with much of his family outside of his mom and sister. He's only lived in our current city for a year and a half and has had a 24/7 job that hasn't really allowed him to make friends, so it's a sensitive topic.

Unless you’re close with the sister and want to include her as one of your bridesmaids, I think you can just talk to your fiancé about what role, if any, he wants his sister to have in the wedding. Plenty of siblings are just guests. You can also do away with the “sides” at the ceremony if there’s going to be an imbalance (or even if there’s not). That’s super common these days and there are all kinds of cute signs on Etsy indicating that. I can kind of relate to your husband because I’m estranged from most of my family and still don’t know if my mom is even attending my wedding. At first I didn’t want a wedding because I thought it’d be super awkward and a big show for FH’s family and a few of my friends, but we landed on a venue that I am genuinely excited about and once I sat down and made a list, I was really excited about the thought of bringing everyone together. We will still be honoring his parents at the wedding even though mine will be absent lol.

Literally no bridal party needs to be even. Friends don't come in matched sets. A good photographer can place and balance people for photos without making any differences an obvious thing.