Even Sides?

Our guest list is pretty half and half, but not intentionally. We just listed out exactly who we wanted at our wedding, made cuts for distant relatives/old friends and it came out that way. I don't think it's a big deal either way whose side has more guests, some people have big families and some people don't. In the grand scheme of things, I believe it's best to think of every guest as "our guest" rather than mine or his.

His parents definitely had more people than my parents did

Our guest list was probably at least 75% mine (maybe more...) and 25% his. The reasons being because I have a lot more family friends than he does... like, say he invited about 20 “households,” they were all each only 1 single person from each household, while many of the “households” I invited would be a family of 4.


It’s not about who’s “side” you’re on, it’s not a sporting event, it’s a wedding which is supposed to be a union lol. Everyone is on everyone’s side. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Our invite list is 285.
80 are mine, and 205 are his.. lol.
My family is super small and he's from a big Indian family. I also included our mutual friends under "his" list as technically they were originally his friends but now are also mine.

I’d say other than family we pretty much have a lot of the same friends that we want to invite, so it doesn’t feel like two separate sides. But I wouldn’t worry too much about it, if you have everyone he’s wanted to invite then ignore the snark and just enjoy YOUR wedding. I’m sure everything will be beautiful

Our guest list was about 60/40, but not because we made it a point to try to be even. We were both well aware that all of our guest were just that, our guests, not mine or hers. Everyone was there to support both of us on one of the biggest days of our lives, not just to see one of us.

I counted yesterday and he has 37 out of 230 guests 😅 My family is huge and lives nearby while his family is small and lives farther away. His parents were worried about extended family making it to our 11 am wedding so we are having a separate reception closer to his family about a month after the wedding for his side. His parents are paying for it and actually suggested it because they figured it would be difficult for many people to make the trip.

I have a lot more than him. He has more family, I have more family friends and personal friends. We are also paying (my side) so we are inviting more. I gave them a generous invitation list.

I would ask your FH to talk to your FMIL about her comment and see why she feels that way.

We have 90 guests... 6 are my friends and coworkers and their SO's 4 are my moms friends, 1 is my mom, 6 are my moms family. So 17 are "mine". There are a bunch of friends maybe 20 or so I know consider "ours", but they started off as his. The rest is his family, his parents friends who I do not know at all, and his friends who I don't really know. So I am planning a wedding that he insisted on for primarily his guests. He has helped plan minimally. But life isn't always "fair" and things always have a way of working themselves out.


Ask his mom for a guestist.

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Funny thing is, I did ask his mother for a guest list and we have invited the majority of them.

My husband had a lot more guests than me. But that’s because his family is a lot larger than mine.

View Quoted Comment Then it is OK. You are doing what needs to be done. Everyone has their own insecurities even parents. My mom has said many times that I'm planning a wedding for him and his parents and I just kindly remind her that I am not doing anything I don't want to and that him and I have had many discussions about the guest list and we both are looking forward to celebrating with everyone that can make it. And I always say something about how special it will be for her and I

Ours is an almost even split. He's got a few more family members and I have a few more friends but we have very close to the same number of guests. We didn't purposely try to make it that way, it's just how it happened to work out.

If you are both fine with the lists, that's all that really matters.

DH had more people than I did... attend, at least. But that was because my side threw drama and didn't come!

I think any things that say "typical" are skewed from whomever is saying that. Families come in all sizes, and it's really a matter of making sure that people there support you and your fiance, full stop.

He definitely has more than mine. His mom was pretty rude and took over my guest list, inviting people I've never even met from his family because it was a way for her to show off at our wedding.... long story.... So even when I wanted to invite more people from my side of the family or my friends I cant because there is no room. Neither one of us were too concerned about it being uneven though. Just that we should have been able to invite who we wanted to invite.