Evil sister in law

This sounds like more of a FH issue than a FSIL issue. Why is your FH letting someone talk about you and treat you this way? Why did he have that person plan your proposal? Why is he giving this person details about your wedding? It doesn't matter if it's his sister, you're about to be his wife and you should be the priority. If he doesn't stand up for you now, what does your future marriage look like? I would start by addressing the issues within your marriage before you try to approach the issues with your FSIL. If you and your FH aren't a united front, you're not going to get anywhere.

I agree with Caytlyn. Your FSIL is no doubt horrible, but your FH should have shut that down the first time she treated you poorly. The second my FMIL started to make our wedding about her, my FH immediately told her he would personally escort her out of our wedding if she caused drama. Your FH should be on YOUR side. If she treats you the way you say she does, he should be sticking up for you and telling her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. FH loves his family to death, but if ANYONE treated me like that, he would go off on them in a heartbeat.

To answer your questions though, she would 100% be uninvited if I was in your shoes. But it should be coming from your FH.

If your "friends" are so shallow and so easily swayed that you are evil and she's a victim, then you don't really need them.

Real friends would be able to see right through that b.s., and shut her down accordingly. People who actually know you probably know her too, and her desire for attention and drama. So I wouldn't worry too much about what your friends think. The real ones won't be swayed by her drama.

I do think FH needs to stand up to her at every opportunity. He can still make his point in his soft spoken way. If she can't be nice, she can miss out.

This is a very difficult situation to be in and one I am not envious of you for having to deal with. I'm so sorry you're going through this, that's just awful. So my advice (and I wouldn't know first hand), first of all, tell your FH how you feel. You need to make sure he truly understands your thoughts and feelings and that you're on the same page. The last thing you want if for her to drive a wedge between the two of you, now or in the future. Very calmly explain to him how you perceive things and what you think. He may not see what you see because it's his sister and he's dealt with it his entire life. You shouldn't have to deal with her childish drama. Second, it's your day! Do what you want how you want. But with that being said, keep in mind that it is his sister and they have been close in relationship so he probably wants her there. Don't deprive him of that, IF it's what he truly wants. After discussing things with him, I would confront her. It will be awkward and uncomfortable but I think it might be necessary to move on. I would first try a friendly, calm approach and if that doesn't work, give her attitude like she's been giving you. She's being incredibly selfish and unreasonable and needs to grow up!

If she's requesting separate dinners and told you that you both can't see the kids, you should take her out. She sounds like someone who "you give them an inch and they take a mile". And if you really want to grind her gears, don't express anger. Tell her it's just a matter of fact.

This! Solid advice, don't show her that she is getting under your skin. Tell FH how you feel and let him deal with it. I worried for so long about things like this and the other people not directly involved not knowing my side (our side) of the story that I would get sick to my stomach. Now, I don't care if anyone knows my side.

This is OUR life and OUR wedding day will be OUR day. Remind her of that and keep moving forward.