Ex Best Friend as Maid of Honor!?

OMG, pick literally anyone else to be your MOH. This person sounds horrible. This friendship is not worth pursuing, in my opinion. You're better off without her.

Cut your losses, for sure. I ended up having to with a girl who was my best friend for 8 years, but I honestly feel so much better. She clearly doesn't value your friendship, so you're better off going with someone else who won't make you feel the way she did.

Definitely don't choose her. There are plenty of times to work on your relationship but your wedding shouldn't be one of them.

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to deal with MOH/BM drama. If you want to keep working on repairing the friendship, that's fine. But I wouldn't risk drama in your wedding by asking her to be a part of it.

I would just ask her why she doesn't want the other girl to know. If someone had to keep their friendship with me a secret, I wouldn't have the friendship at all. She can't be your MOH if she can't post or be tagged in pictures at your bridal shower, bachelorette or wedding or have to block out weekends to help plan.

Girl you do NOT need that drama in your life. Pick your nearest and dearest and don't use the wedding to rekindle a friendship. Just let it go.

Do not ask her...that would just be asking for trouble and drama. Why on earth would she need to keep y'all's friendship secret from anyone else? If I need to be kept a secret, then obviously we aren't good friends. Sounds like you are trying to grasp on the an old friendship that just isn't there anymore. It's sad and I am sorry you are going through that, but if you ask her to be in your wedding you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Agree you can have her as a guests but not in your party, you'll be more hurt if you ask her and she turns out to be horrible to you. Just the fact that she said you "wrecked her wedding" for something you had no power over is terrible and I'd think whether or not I really want her in my life.