Ex friend and ex boyfriend invite

If his 45 year long friendship with her parents is so strong, then you not inviting her wouldn't end it. In my opinion, it's a bit messed up of your dad to insist so strongly she be invited after you've expressed how much y'all don't want her there. Should you be over your ex and not care? Absolutely. But we aren't perfect people who can turn our feelings on/off. I can see how it'd be weird. Especially if your friend is being rude about it and being rude to your FH. I'm honestly not sure of any other way you can get him to see your side of things though. Maybe give it a little time? Otherwise, he may be right. If you want him to pay for your wedding, then you might have to be the bigger person and just invite her. I know being the bigger person really sucks sometimes...trust me, I've been there. But I'm sure you will have so many loving friends and family there that you won't even notice she is there. Try not to let her presence bother you. Also, not inviting her might burn a bridge and prevent y'all from re-building y'all's friendship in the future. If she is that close, and considered family...I doubt she is going anywhere and will always be a part of your life, whether you want her to be or not.

My ex boyfriend of 3 years went on to marry my ex-husband's sister. He went from step-dad to uncle to my kid. It was so awkward. I mean the ex bf and I talked about marriage & babies also. We lived together. At first, I was upset. BUUUUT - they are an amazing couple! They are truly each others soulmate. You have moved on and found your soulmate. And, I know it's still hard now... it feels like disrespect from her - but, she's just trying to find her "one" like you. I TOTALLY 100% understand why you feel this way - I'm not inviting them to my wedding but, I would. It's not a big deal anymore. I think you should stand your ground bc it's your wedding. However, remember that everyone just wants someone to love & to love them back. You're done with that guy. Let her have him & don't worry about the disrespect, etc. The worst that's going to happen if they come to your wedding (Which do you really think she will come?) is they see how amazing your relationship is and happy you are. That's not a bad sight to see at all.

I totally agree with this. Everyone is just looking for their someone. I would be hurt and upset as well, but she's your friend, you should want her to be happy. If the guy that didn't make you happy is the one for her, let her be with him and don't hold it against her. Do you have the funds to pay for the wedding yourself? If not, I'm not sure you have any choice but to give your dad what he wants anyway.

Before the ultimatum was given, I would have likely said, "she can come, but at a courtesy to other people I care about." If the families are so close, you would see her often, and that might me a slight that would cause grief well after the welling. This is one of those awkward situations that, eventually, might not seem so awkward. It can definitely hurt when it is so close together. But it may also be just as hurtful for your ex as you're engaged relatively recently after you two broke up.

However, the moment an ultimatum is drawn, I never suggest falling into it's trap. Once someone gives one ultimatum it usually starts the path of multiple ultimatums. I'd say, "fine, we'll do what we can without your money."

If you don't want to invite her, pay for your own wedding. Personally, I get why you're upset, but it's your dad's money and he has the right to do what he wants with it. If he's paying, he gets a say in the guest list.

I am sorry that you're going through this but I think you're over thinking it a bit. You said that you have grown apart as you've both grown up to be adults so I don't think its fair to say "it's weird to still have an ex in the family" because you're saying that your relationship has strayed from it was once so you definitely don't look at her as a close friend and to say you're still "sisters" because of your parents relationship also isn't very convincing. Also they started dating after you were dating your FH, it would have been a big slap in the face if he'd broken up with you and they were dating secretly behind your back. But who's decide who you fall in love with and who's right for you? If you Dad is paying for your wedding then his friends should be there and if your dad wants to extend it their daughter then he should. He's hosting your wedding for the most part from what it seems and should have the people he wants there too. I don't want to be a negative Nancy but it seems like you want to have you cake and eat it too. Your ex and your friend are their own partnership and thats it, don't mix that with your own life.

Plus if she's being really mean and disrespectful to you maybe she won't even go. Good Luck!

I agree... at least making the effort of clearing the air might make a difference in everything. She obviously feels uncomfortable if she has changed the way she acts with you so like your dad said, be the bigger person and ask to speak to her just the 2 of you. This might even be cathartic for you to voice out your feelings also...

Then depending on how she handles herself in the conversation, then make a decision about the wedding invite. Honestly, if I were having a candid convo with her, I would tell her that I am debating whether or not I want her there because of this situation... see what she says... say that you're hurt by the whole thing and especially how she has treated you and disrespected you...