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Dedicated December 2019

Ex-friends

DIY Bride, on October 21, 2019 at 11:49 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

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So I’m posting because I just need some reassurance that I did the right thing. I had a friend that really didn’t like my FH and she had no problem telling everyone in our group of friends that. She also told me that I was marrying him just because I wanted to get married and I wouldn’t be happy with him, plus some other hurtful comments. She also bad mouthed me to everyone in our group of friends. After that I stopped talking to her because I don’t need that drama (I did continue to hear from others in our group of friends, but that kind of dropped off). I got the RSVPs back today for her and another couple that we were friends with and they all sent their regrets. I just feel hurt because I know she bad mouthed me to everyone. I know I shouldn’t want to be friends with any of them if she can sway their decision to come or not, but it still hurts. It also bothers me because I wanted them all invited to my bachelorette party and shower (they are both surprises) and I don’t think they will come to anything. Just so you know I have always been supportive to this friend and all friends in the group.
We have invited about 170 people to the wedding, about 50 are mine (including the pastor and his wife) and the rest of the 120 are my FH’s family and friends. If these friends aren’t coming that’s about 10 people from my side that aren’t coming and that really hurts. I have a small family and some friends, but these people who I thought were friends really disappoints me. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up and thought that they would come.

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Lyndsey, on October 22, 2019 at 8:49 AM

Devoted December 2019
Jocelyn · on October 22, 2019 at 12:20 AM
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I’m sorry you’re feeling disappointed that their decision was to not come to the wedding. Personally I don’t think anyone should be at your wedding who isn’t supportive of you and your future husband. you want to be surrounded by friends and family who love you and want to be there during your special day. Me and my my future husband have the opposite of your Guest count, I have majority of family and he only has immediate family of about 15 And me 30. We both only have one person in our wedding party our best man and my maid of honor. Try not to let this upset you, you don’t need anyone at your wedding that doesn’t fully support you. And their true colors are just fully showing in this situation. You’ll still have a beautiful and lovely day with everyone around you.
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Devoted September 2020
Jennifer · on October 22, 2019 at 4:09 AM
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I agree with PP, it hurts now but honestly it's probably for the best. This friend sounds toxic and you shouldn't have anyone at your wedding who isn't there to fully support you and your FH. End of story. Surround yourself with love only. And remember, it's about quality not quantity.
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Master February 2020
Amber · on October 22, 2019 at 8:31 AM
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You absolutely did the right thing. As PP's said, your "friend" is a toxic person and the mutual friends you share aren't much better if they don't support you and stand up against her running her mouth about you. Friend breakups are really hard, I know, but it's absolutely for the best.
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Dedicated April 2020
Lyndsey · on October 22, 2019 at 8:49 AM
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I totally understand your disappointment and hurt, and your concerns about an imbalance on the guest list, but look at this way - isn't it better to have a smaller group of your friends and family there who you know support and love you and FH, than making up the numbers with toxic people who run their mouths off? A friend who doesn't support you isn't a friend and that includes anyone who has listened to gossip and badmouthing. If your friend had any genuine concerns about your relationship and whether or not you were happy she should have talked to you instead of badmouthing you and FH. I don't think I could remain friends with someone who talked about my relationship that way.
Oh - and the comment about only marrying him because you want to get married? That is beyond mean, pay no attention to it. Honestly sounds like jealousy to me, she isn't single by any chance? I say that as someone who was single for a very long time and understands the green-eyed monster when it comes to other peoples' relationships all too well (though I would never have said anything like that!!!)
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