Ex-wife wants to tag along on destination wedding

So my SO finally popped the question and I said yes. Yay!! We decided on a destination wedding in the desert near Las Vegas end of April 2020 and will be there for 3 days. It is going to be a small wedding, no more than 30 people and outdoors. Mostly family and 2 close friends. Some background.... My FH has a 12 year old daughter that he shares custody with his ex wife. Since the pandemic started she has been homeschooling her daughter and has always been extremely overprotective of her for as long as I have known my FH. They separated 2 years before we met, my FH and I have been together for 6 years and he has visitation every weekend and are pretty flexible with that aspect of things. For the entirely of our relationship I have been attempting to set up a time and place for ex, myself, and FH to meet, have a conversation, and get to know each other, because as a mom of a now 16 year old I would want to know who is spending time with my kiddo. Throughout this time she has been very avoidant of me and when there was a chance for us to chat during an shared event for her daughter it has been very awkward with few words between us and no opportunity for us to talk privately. She is a homebody and not very social. My FH states he thinks his ex does not have any social outlets and she 'talks his ear off' when he goes to pick up their daughter. Anywho, she finally agreed to meet up this week(after 6 years of trying), I said nothing but kind things, told her that I respect and appreciate her and that I am grateful to her for being a good mom and hope to talk more with her in the future. She said that she has no animosity towards me and thinks I am a good person. We also agreed that we don't want to be best friends or anything but to better communicate for the daughters well being. Yay! However after that conversation she requested to fly separately to and from the wedding with their daughter and stay in a separate hotel room to have access to their daughter, drop her off to us as needed, and be there 'in case she needs mom if she has young lady needs' and 'give us that time to focus on each other, and concerns with the pandemic.' She does not feel comfortable with either my or my FH's family watching their daughter, even though we are all vaccinated and myself and my FH plan to be with her 99% of the time. She has looked into flights and hotels already (I haven't even sent out our save the date cards or figured out lodging details on our end yet). She also mentioned possibly taking the daughter to the Grand Canyon or Hoover Dam while she is down there during that weekend. I am just so confused and not sure what to do. I don't want to create any bad blood after we had what I consider a breakthrough; but I was hoping that this would be a weekend for myself, my FH, his daughter, my son and our families to bond. I feel like she is trying to prevent that bonding and being really overbearing... and it is another thing to add into the mix of an already stressful time. My FH has previously taken their daughter on trips to California and Mexico by himself, with some cohearsing, and there were no issues, so I don't understand how this is any different. I am also concerned that she will try to hijack our wedding weekend itenerary and will be devastated if my FH's daughter can't participate in what we have planned. My FH and I convinced his ex to hold off on any plans until the wedding gets closer and flights are cheaper and at that time we can reevaluate. To be honest, I really don't want her to go but am open to compromise to keep the peace as long as she is open to having their daughter follow our planned itinerary and not requesting early dropoff, which will basically leave the ex in a hotel room by herself the entirety of the time as she declined coming to the wedding. I just want to do the right thing, but don't want to have to worry about this kind of stuff on my wedding day. Please help!