Expectations for Bridesmaids

If you are expecting them to have hair and makeup professionally done, then you would need to cover all those costs 100%. The only way your BMs should pay out of pocket for hair or makeup is if it is an optional choice (ie, they can choose to have professional services, or they can choose to do their own hair and makeup). There doesn’t need to be any wording about promptness. These are adults- you simply tell them the times of events and trust they know to arrive on time.

Agree with cece. If hair and makeup is a requirement then you need to pay the whole thing. Just treat your bridesmaids like adults. Tell them the time they need to be there wedding day and that’s that.
I didn’t expect anything of mine. I didn’t want a bachelorette party. I asked them to find whatever dresses they liked in a shade of the color I wanted. And I purchased jewelry. I let them wear whatever shoes they wanted. I didn’t give any requirements for shoes. In the end none of that mattered to me. I offered hair and makeup for them and paid for it if they wanted it. All I asked was they stand by me wedding day and be there if I asked for help or needed wedding advice if they were able to make the time. That was all

The expectation is for them to get their dresses. If you're requiring matching anything else or professional hair and makeup then you would need to cover that cost.

You have discretion regarding the dress and not much else. Even there it is considerate to consult, certainly for budget. You can offer hair and makeup services to your bridesmaids, but contrary to what you've heard you can't properly require it, even if you are willing to pay. They are free to DIY or get it done by the person of their own choice. Ditto nails, jewelry etc. These things are personal, and out of your jurisdiction. Asking for a nude or other common color shoe of their choice is probably fair. Keep in mind, they are people, not props.

I'm not sure what you mean by wording regarding the wedding and rehearsal. You would just communicate where they need to be and when. If the fact that it's an important event doesn't motivate them to show up on time, then nothing will.

As far as other expectations, I would include covering transportation to the wedding, attending rehearsal if at all possible, showing up when and where you ask them to on the wedding day for photos, assisting the bride get ready, holding flowers, helping with a bustle, in the bathroom, those kind of things.

Anything else is strictly up to them to offer.

Telling someone they need to be on time for a wedding is kind of rude. Grown ups know to be timely without being told.


If you're requiring hair and makeup, you should pay for it entirely.
I'd let them casually know that IF they choose to wear nail polish, you ask that it be a natural color. And that you'd like them to wear natural color shoes. I wouldn't overthink the wording.

I completely understand with the "telling them to be on time" as I have a bridesmaid who is chronically late to EVERYTHING. She was late to the luncheon we had to give out the bridesmaid proposal boxes. I sent out reminder texts for things a few days in advance. "Can't wait to see you Sunday at 12pm for dress shopping!!" But then she was still late. I had to speak with her individually about this, as I did not want her to be late day of wedding. She understood why I was talking with her about it, and we worked it out that she would drive to my house before the time, and I would drive her wherever the plan was.

As for the rest, my girls bought their dresses at David's Bridal. I told them a silver shoe color and to get anything in that family. As for hair and makeup, I am paying for half of it and they are paying for the rest. Nails, I told them all to have either silver/white nails. All of my girls have been very understanding and willing to work with me. (We are also on a very short timeline as my wedding is Sept 30,2023)

Agree with everyone else that if you're expecting them to have their hair and makeup done professionally, then you should be covering all of those costs. Same goes for nails if you want them to have their nails done, even in a natural color. Obviously you would have control over the dresses and for shoes, I think you could casually ask they they wear natural colored shoes.

The good news is the current trend for special event hair is down, natural, and flowy (as seen at the Oscars). You may not have to pay for a stylist after all. If you require makeup, you would pay the entire amount not just deposit. Or you can give them the option of doing their own makeup which they supply themselves.