Expectations for bridesmaids

I think that hairstyle is difficult to do on oneself for most people unless they’re use to it. I don’t find it to be simple at all. Do you know the other bridesmaids? Maybe reach out to them to see if one can do it and do a couple test runs with it.

So your bride is breaking etiquette if she expects you to have your hair or makeup a certain way she needs to provide the means to do it! All people are different and all styles don't look good for all hair types or face shapes! I know it is her wedding, so it might be easier not to have that battle do you possibly have a friend that could "try" this style on you ahead of time, so you can give the person doing it for the wedding suggestions or even show the bride that it does not work for you?

When is her wedding?

In my opinion, if she wants something specific, she has to provide someone to do it. Now, that's her choice on if that someone is another bridesmaid. I would just let them do my hair and if it looks horrible, that's her wedding pictures. Even if she hired a professional, it's not guaranteed it will look great. However, if you don't feel comfortable with that, let her know. She should be a good friend and understand. If she doesn't, you could tell her you don't want to be a bridesmaid, you could pay for someone that you trust, or just suck it up unfortunately. I hope she comes around.

I would speak to her and state how uncomfortable you are with that hairstyle. Shes not your boss, mom, superior, God, etc. Its not the end of her world if you sport a different hairstyle from the rest. If this was happening to me, theres no way I would pay to go get my hair done when I can style it at home. But I also do not have the skill set to do the hairstyle your friend wants or the right hair. Being in the bridal party shouldn't feel like you're in the military if you understand what I'm saying.

She was wrong to do this. I would just let her know, politely, she can pay for hair, or you will come as you want.

Hi Allison! Welcome to WeddingWire and congrats on your engagement! I am sorry you are dealing with this sticky situation. I agree, if she is requiring you to go with a specific look, she should be providing it. Regardless, I agree with BRae in saying you should definitely talk out your concern and discomfort with this hair requirement with her. No one's hair is the same and therefor, it is really hard for everyone to achieve the same exact look this way without a professional hand.

This is an awkward situation and I don’t think she’s acting like the best friend! I’d talk to her about your concerns when it comes to your hair type. Can you have the bridesmaid practice the style on you? I would think you either let the BM do your hair and if it doesn’t turn out great it’s in her pictures (you probably won’t be the one looking back at them forever) or politely let her know that your hair won’t hold that style when done not professionally so you won’t be wearing it that way.

Agreed with what everyone else has said. If the bride wants the bridesmaids' hair a specific way, it's her responsibility to find someone that can do it and pay that person. Bridesmaids shouldn't have to pay for hair styles the brides wants unless the bridesmaid offers themselves. I'm not sure how open your bride is, but bring up your concern that your hair will NOT come out the same way as the picture. In fact, maybe do a bad version, send a picture to your bride, and show her that it just doesn't work.

I attended a wedding that had 9 bridesmaids. The bride asked her bridesmaids that they can all have whatever hair style they want, as long as everyone was consistent and not the same as the bride. All the bridesmaid pulled up a Youtube video literally the morning of the wedding, found a style that EVERYONE loved, did each other's hair, and they all looked really nice!! Maybe if your bride is open you can try asking her the same thing. Personally, when it comes to bridesmaids hair styles, the only thing I notice is if everyone has their hair up or hair down,. Does the french braid REALLY matter?

One of my bridesmaids that is not a hair dresser did all of the rest of the bridesmaids hair and her own they all helped out. I think if you are comfortable with the other people it will be fine. I did not have a specific vision I just wanted their hair up. I loved it and so did they! Here is what the outcome was... it’s hard to even tell what their hair actually looked like in photos because it will not be a close up like the photo she sent you so I wouldn’t worry too much.

I also have very fine, soft hair. I speak from experience when I say that my hair would not stay in that style. Half of it would have fallen out of the braid before I made it down the aisle. I'd just let the bride know that if it isn't professionally down, it won't hold, if it holds then. And I'd point out that you won't be the one paying for it. Upstyles don't work for everyone.

I definitely couldn't do my hair like that. And I have the same issue with fine hair. My hair looks perfectly thick when it's down, but if I tried to put it in a braid like that I would definitely need extensions otherwise it a) would look dreadful, and b) would likely fall out in two hours.

My advice depends on how much of a wave you want to make. I would say that the least confrontational thing to do would be to shrug, show up to the wedding, and be like, "OK, who's doing my hair?" If your hair ends up looking like crap, then, well, that's not on you. And it's not your wedding pictures.

I mean, to be honest, most people in the audience aren't going to notice the exact hairstyles of the bridesmaids. Worst case scenario, if the other bridesmaids can't pull this off for you and it's zero hour, you can just throw your hair up into any sort of reasonable updo it will stick in and people are really not going to notice. I'd bring one of those donut-bun things just in case. Again, I have fine hair, and with enough hairspray one of those makes a perfectly-fine updo that holds and nobody is gonna notice.

I would laugh if someone asked me to do anything past putting my hair in a ponytail. If it were me, I'd just tell her I was going to a salon to get my hair done prior by someone and pay for it, so you are happy with your hair.

I would not worry too much.. I wouldn't really expect everyone to have the same updo, maybe she can be more lenient on that matter because the updo pictured is completely dependent on someone's hair. Like I hate hair in my face and I don't even have those strands to keep out of the braid. She needs to open up to some more styles I thinlk..

But for my one friend's wedding she went somewhere to get her hair done and all of us didn't want to leave and come back so we did our own. I was about to do my own updo (I had to practice a style) but her other bridesmaid (she used to be my friend) did everyone's updo really well surprisingly and very quickly! It could've been awkward but it was alright, one less thing we had to pay for! I would try to explain to her you are fine with another bridesmaid helping you out but that one style of updo is not going to suit everyone.

First, that messy chignon with braids look is tough with fine hair, and just comes down. Second, no bride can require you do your hair your way. She can dictate clothes, but your body including nails and hair, you can do any way you want. She can suggest something, but then must provide someone to do it, either a pro, or a BM who has practiced it in advance. . . One of my family of cousins near me, three girls have cornsilk fine hair, so thin and smooth it pulls out of up do's like bride wants. They all have success with either of two: 1. Pull a ponytail to back of neck, an inch above hairline, with top combed as you want it, parted, or brushed back. Fasten with hair tie. Divide lower pony tail into 4-6 sections, and make a thin braid of each. Fasten all together at hair ends by reaching under and usin a 2.5-3" barrette. So your chignon is a fan of little braids. Tendrils of the front and side will come down naturally, due to fineness of hair. 2. I will post a link below, essentially a braid if top hair, and one each side, pulled together in a chignon in back. . . Either style is compatible with what bride wants, though not the same. Any other BM could do it, if you have a practice trial. The link for second below shows a 6 photo how- to if you scroll down. Your braids would each be thinner.

Https://camillestyles.com/style/pretty-simple-triple-braided-bun/

If a bride wants a certain hairstyle, especially an updo with a complicated braid, she pays someone to do it. I think it's in poor taste to make all the girls wear a specific hairstyle because like you said, everyone's hair texture is different. I have super fine thin hair and I can't pull of pinterest updos without loads of extensions.