Hello Everyone,
I recently had a disagreement with my sister who was supposed to be my Matron of Honor because she wants to bring a date, which is not her husband. To start things off, when I initially told her that I was engaged and I wanted her to be one of the Matron of Honor's (my other sister is the other Matron) she informed me that she told herself that she wasn't going to be in anymore weddings because she was supposed to be in my cousin's wedding, but they cancelled the wedding, went ahead and eloped later on and now they are getting a divorce. I'm not sure what my cousin's wedding had anything to do with mine, but ok. I scheduled to do a surprise brunch for my bridal party to formally ask them to be part of my bridal party and she didn't come. At first she told me that my niece (her daughter) had a game on the day of my brunch and she wanted to go to all of her games. Then weeks later she asked me about the brunch, I thought she was going to my niece's game, but she told me that she didn't say that. So she was planning on coming. 2 days before the brunch, she calls and tells me that her husband has to work that Saturday so if she comes, she would have to bring my nephew (her 2 year old son). This was supposed to be a brunch for just the bridal party. She expressed that she really didn't want to be on the road with a 2 year old because he can get restless (my mom also said that her husband works for the government so how does he have to work on a Saturday). So she didn't come, but agreed to FaceTime to be part of the celebration. I called her the morning of the brunch to remind her and make sure she would pick up the call around a certain time. During the brunch, I FaceTime her and she didn't answer. I called again and she picked up. She immediately told me that she couldn't stay on FaceTime long because she was putting my nephew to sleep. Everyone said hello, including my other sister. I'm not sure if she didn't hear her, but she didn't say anything in response. My bridal party and I discussed a day and time to go shopping for the bridesmaid's dresses and I created a GroupMe so that we can all chat and share information among the bridal party. She was included in the group, but hadn't interacted with anyone else in the group. We all have been positive and conversing via GroupMe except for her. So I let my sister know about the dress shopping day and time and asked if she would be able to join. She told me that she was not going to be going up and down the road to get dress alterations (she lives 2.5hrs from me) and to just let her know the style dress and color I decide so she can purchase the dress closer to where she lives. We also discussed places where I would like to go for my bachelorette weekend getaway and she told me that she wasn't going to be able to participate because she is also planning a trip for my niece's 21st birthday, which is in the same month as my wedding (she didn't even know when we were going on the bachelorette trip). She then asked me if I even thought about the date of my wedding when I chose my date because it's on my niece's birthday weekend. Her birthday is on a Wednesday and my wedding is going to be on a Sunday, 3 days before her birthday so she can also go on a trip the weekend after. At this point I decided to give her an "out", I told her that if this is too much for her and she doesn't want to be in the wedding to let me know, I'm fine if she doesn't want to be in it, but she tells me that she does want to be in it, she is just making it clear to me what she can and can't do. Next, we got into a discussion about who she was bringing with her to the wedding. She is married, so I put her husband's name on the list. My fiance' and I discussed a certain amount of guest we would like to invite at our wedding (we don't want a big wedding) and so we are not doing plus one's, but we are taking into consideration those who are married. She proceeds to tell me that she isn't bringing her husband and that she is going to come with another date because she is going to divorce her husband. My initial thought was that if he isn't coming, then I'm going to fill his seat with someone else who I would like to invite (I have a back up list). She tells me that he is not coming and that she is GOING to bring someone else (she doesn't even know who she is going to bring, she is just adamant that she is bringing a date). She doesn't care about anything that I explained to her even though I didn't need to explain a thing. So then she tells me that she needs to evaluate everything since she can't bring a date. I told her to please let me know what she would like to do. She tells me that she doesn't want to be in my wedding and that she will just be a guest lol. I told her that I will just go ahead and remove her name off the list altogether just to make it easier on everybody. So she said that was fine and that I now have 4 seats open. My fiance' and I also discussed that we can't accommodate any kids at our wedding and I was bending for my sister because she would be bringing my 2 year old nephew. I don't even understand what her problem is, but I felt like she was trying to control and dictate what I'm doing for my wedding. She said that she isn't going to pay to be in my wedding and not be able to bring a date. What she doesn't realize is that we have to pay for each person. We are inviting family and friends who we want to share our special day with us. I have other people who I would like to invite if a spouse is not going to come. To be honest, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulder because I don't need any stress or negativity. I know that this is a long post, put just thought I would share this and get other people's thoughts about this.
