Expensive Bachelorette weekend

For me, bachelorette parties of any kind require full disclosure of all the costs to guests ahead of time so that the guests can review and decide whether financially feasible for them which unfortunately doesn't seem to have been the case here.

Since the bride has paid for your flight I do agree with your proposal to offer to reimburse her but otherwise you have nothing to fear as what you wish to do is absolutely reasonable and not in the slightest bit rude.

There's two sides to this coin.

To be fair, I don't think the cost of eating, ubering, drinking are ever included in the bachelorette breakdown price. So I wouldn't necessarily fault her for that one. When I go on a bach, I always set aside $50 or so a paycheck to go towards my spending a few months before the bach date.

But, it is completely okay to drop out of bachelorettes IF you give enough heads up. You definitely shouldn't feel the need to spend money you don't have! Last minute cancellations are the only cancellations that are rude.

That being said, paying your bride back for the flight she purchased is the right thing to do, and I don't think she should be mad at you as long as you're not close to the bach date. If you are close to the bach date, consider that her friends may not be prepared to cover the cost of you dropping out, which could cause some friction.

Make sure you're honest about why you can't go. I know if I was her, I would offer to cover your portion so you could come. Having my friends there is more important than $180.

Can you let the organizer know that you've only budgeted $300 for the whole trip and with all of the extra costs that were not disclosed, your overall budget is not being consider. I would bring up your concerns with cost before backing out entirely. If they say it is what it is, I would back out and reimburse the cost of the plane ticket. There may be other attendees that are thinking the same as you are when it comes to all of the extras that wasn't originally counted for.

You're never obligated to a pre-wedding event, especially if the cost breakdown was inaccurate from the start. Don't stretch your budget trying to keep everyone happy. I would let the organizer know that the plans are outside of your budget and that you cannot attend. It's an invitation, not a summons.

Right, but her concern is that the bride already bought her plane ticket... It's not just as simple as "sorry I can't attend now."

This sounds complicated and stressful. Hopefully you can bring it up to the group and get something worked out that leaves everyone feeling ok!!

I saw that. She can pay the bride back for the ticket, as pp's mentioned.

Yah...the reason it was purchased for her is because she couldn't afford it. It's a tough situation for sure, and I am empathetic to it.

Yeah, I'm empathetic too.

Sad thing is that the OP was upfront about having difficulty with budget for this from the start. She agreed to one amount and now it's more $, pushing her again out of her financial comfort zone. We see similar situations all the time here, and it's why we caution brides and grooms to have reasonable expectations. It's not worth ruining a friendship over, and so stressful all around, as we all know.

If I had a dollar for every time one of these situations have been posted on here...

Good luck sorting it out. You're doing what's best in your situation, and that's what's important.