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Devoted October 2018

Expensive Bridesmaid Dress

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AbeFroman, on January 12, 2018 at 12:56 PM

I am in a wedding for a close friend this coming July. I have never been in a wedding before so I'm not sure what to do in a situation that arose last night. People on this forum are very honest, which I appreciate, so I need to know if I'm being unreasonable.

The bride messaged all of the bridesmaids last night and said that we need to purchase our dresses within one week. Prior to this message she has never discussed dresses with us before. She sent us the dress she wants us to get - it's over $200. Not only do I not have an extra $200 this week, I also wasn't planning on spending this much on a dress in the first place. I voiced my concerns about not being able to get the dress this week and she responded that we waited too long and they need to be ordered this week (her wedding is in July). She then said that I do have the money because I just got promoted at work and because I posted a picture on Facebook of my book and comic book collection (I have been working on this collection for 10 years but that's beside the point). I am at a loss for what to do here. I really do want to be in her wedding but I think $200 is a lot to spend, especially with very little notice. Do you think I am being unreasonable? I've never been in a wedding before and I don't plan on having a large wedding party, so I'm not sure of the etiquette on dresses. Thank you.

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49 Comments

Devoted August 2018
LoveAlwaysWin · on January 12, 2018 at 4:21 PM
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You are not being unreasonable. I reached out to each one of my girls and ask about their budget. After we discussed budget I then sent each one pictures on. Some dresses I liked they all agreed to one particular dress. My girls were all comfortable with paying $200 but I decided to not even have them purchase a dress for that amount. So no your not being unreasonable the curiosity thing to do for her as a bride was at least discuss with you guys budget.
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Devoted August 2018
LoveAlwaysWin · on January 12, 2018 at 4:26 PM
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🤔 but yet she haves something to say about what you buy with your money. While she planning her own shower and is asking for money. 🙄
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Super September 2018
Kristen328 · on January 12, 2018 at 7:58 PM
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Agree 100%

OP she's the unreasonable one. Definitely not you.
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Devoted October 2017
bluevelvet · on January 12, 2018 at 8:05 PM
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I agree with others who say they are unreasonable, and I would be highly offended if someone suggested I sell ANYTHING to be in her wedding. Just wait for the bachelorette/wedding shower invites - you will be broke. Reason number 47 why I had no bridemaids!!! LOL! Less stress......
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VIP October 2017
Cassidy · on January 12, 2018 at 8:05 PM
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I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. That is outrageously expensive. And if she has never discussed them with you--that's kind of a mean thing and self centered thing to do. It's self-entitled. If you don't have the money or want to spend the money, don't. She's being unreasonable. Not you.
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Master July 2018
Cuoghi · on January 12, 2018 at 8:07 PM
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Try looking in poshmark. Plenty of worn once bridesmaid dresses on there
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Dedicated April 2018
Brianna · on January 13, 2018 at 4:24 AM
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Being in someone’s wedding shouldn’t send you to the poor house. Don’t get me wrong it’s expensive on both ends but if you can’t afford something you can’t afford it. All of my girls picked their own dresses from the same site and my main concern was that they all order them within 24 hours of each other so that they would be in the same dye lot. I might be way to relaxed but it sounds like you’re dealing with a bridezilla. I think you need to maybe express your concerns to your friend one more time and if she’s still nasty and isn’t willing to work with you then you should politely bow out of the wedding. Explain that you love her but you’re not financially able to drop over $200 with barely any notice. It’s no fairt for her to ask you to do that. It also sounds like there’s a lack of planning on her end. Good luck!
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