Family being rude

I'd definitely skip asking for even $400 to $600. That would just reinforce their sense that you expect them to help out. And I'd skip even talking about the wedding with them, if they are going to be that negative.

Beyond that, the question is whether they have been otherwise supportive in your life. If so, you could have a talk with them to explain that you are paying for this on your own, and just want their love and support to continue. But if not, unfortunately a wedding doesn't change people's basic personalities. You'll just have to enjoy your planning, and getting to marry the love of your life, regardless of anyone who tries to bring you down.

I would discuss how she's acting with your father, it's weird she's doing that. Then I'd tell your sister to not talk to her anymore about wedding plans, and I for sure wouldn't take any money from them.

I agree with a PP, just don't talk to them about your wedding plans. I know it sucks not to be able to spring ideas off of them and be supportive, but it causes so much less stress and drama if you just don't involve them in the day to day plans.

Do not include them in your plans and don’t ask for money (if they give you a gift, that’s lovely but should not be expected). Thank your sister for sharing but ask her to keep future comments to herself because it’s hurting your feelings to know. If your stepmom says something directly to you then you can ask her to refrain from negative comments.

Sorry to hear about this! It’ll be ok. It’s most important that you & your FW have fun planning together. Focus on that. 💕

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I agree with this and I know your sister may not mean to, she is stirring the pot. You don't need any more negative comments from Stepmom, you get it, they are broke.

Stop talking about the wedding, and even if by some miracle they offer you money, do not plan on it until you have cash in hand. Way too many stories here of people promising to pay for something then at the last minute: "Oops, I guess we really are broke."

Everyone is right follow their advice ! ...parents aren’t obligated to pay for their child’s wedding if they like to help great if they can’t it’s okay to be but the way your step mom said it was rude so I wouldn’t expect help from her just keep your wedding plans to yourself and don’t ask for anything

Don't ask for any money and don't talk any wedding plans/ideas with them.

I wouldn't even ask them to pay for anything. Just pay it on your own.

"We planned to pay for everything."

"We only wanted 400 - 600 from 3 sets of parents all together"

So which is it? Pay for it yourself, it's your party. And tell baby sister she doesn't have to repeat everything she hears.

Don't ask anyone for money for your wedding. If they offer you money that is one thing but you definitely don't ask them for it. Plan the wedding the two of you can afford. Period.

Don't ask them for money if they're gonna nasty about it.
That really sucks though that you have to deal with her drama.

I wouldn't accept a dime from them. Do whatever you can afford to do on your own and nothing more. Sorry you are having to deal with this

I would skip asking for anything. That $400-$600 won't go far but you clearly will never hear the end of it. Not sure what to suggest you do...it all depends with how you deal with confrontation. I personally would get really pissed at this, send a slightly snippy text making sure its completely clear that they are not being asked to pay for anything and all they need to do is attend.

Thank you all!! We only planned to ask for that much because in the beginning they wanted to help. Now that we are engaged and planning it's the opposite. We are just planning on paying for everything out of pocket. As for talking to her, I havent been. My little sister let us watch our niece and our step mom asked why we were going somewhere. She told her and that was all said

$400 isn't worth your pride, patience, or freedom to do what you like for your wedding! Don't accept any help and hold your head high as you take care of it all yourself. If the contribution isn't given in goodwill, it will just make you miserable.

Hi Courtney! I am sorry to hear that you are going through this situation. I agree, not asking for money anymore and keeping your wedding plans/ideas private might be a good course of action in this situation.

It's your wedding day and all details involved & leading up to the big day are yours and your fiancé(e)'s to make. Keeping matters in your own hands can help keep it this way.

I'm confused. Are you guys paying for everything yourselves or asking family members for money? If you're just blatantly asking, I can understand why she's upset (overreacting, though, to be for sure), because that's just rude. Particularly for that amount. I feel awkward enough with my mother wanting to pay me back for buying my own dress (it was $35 on Amazon, not a big deal AT ALL), so I couldn't imagine just asking for between $400-$600

View Quoted Comment We havent asked for money at all. We said if anything it would only be that amount. And we wouldn't just ask for it out right. We added up some things and our parents said they'd help a tiny bit so we are splitting 400 between 3 sets. It's only 100 something between them all. Her dad said hed help and so did my mom. We already PLANNED to pay for everything. Our thing was my step mom flipping out about money that we didnt ask for from anyone at all ever and telling us we are going all out when we are paying for things and arent doing anything over the top. Shes not included in wedding planning after statement of not wanting to spend anything. We only said if they wanted they could but we didnt ask anyone for money