There's been a lot of family drama since I got engaged, because my mother and aunt are toxic, controlling people. Now I find out that my grandpa (who I am super close to) is not going to come to our wedding unless my mom and aunt "say it's okay" I'm absolutely devastated, honestly this past year has been nothing but family drama, between that and the expense (even of a small 50 person casual wedding is still a lot) while I just went back to school and paying for it completely myself i'm going into a lot of debt and can't help feeling like between that and the fact that my bridesmaids have been a total hassle I am wishing every day that we had just eloped. I'm finding it hard to even be excited about the wedding at all - am I a monster? It's hard to even remember why I am even getting wedding or feel excitement to be married. I think everything has just soured it from every angle. I hope I get more excited as the date draws closer. I feel totally miserable. We have put down some deposits though and i'm sure i'll have fun once i'm there on the day of, but after my fiance's mom passed away this year and finding out my family likely won't come at all i'm pretty over it. Thanks for reading
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