Family issues

Listen to your fiancé. If he doesn’t want them there, he doesn’t want them there.

Honestly, it's your fiance's choice. You've asked and discussed it. That's all you can do. Ultimately, you need to let him take the lead on this decision.

View Quoted Comment That's what I've come down to. I just honestly didn't want him to be hurt by not having his family there you know?

I would respect your fiancé's wishes and stop bringing it up to him.

Respect his wishes and do not pressure him or bring this up again. Not everyone has a great relationship with their relatives.

If he's saying he doesn't want them there, he will be hurt by them BEING there.

His family, his decision, and the more you push back on this, the more you are telling him that you aren't listening and don't trust him.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Very early on in my relationship with my husband, I set some boundaries and stopped speaking the majority of my father’s family because of some things they said about me. At first, H was adamant that “they’re family” and I’d regret it, but all that did was make me feel like he didn’t trust my decision.


If your FH is telling you he doesn’t want these people there, listen and believe him. There’s a reason, no matter what it is, that he feels that way.

Respect his wishes, my fiancé does not want his half brother at our wedding, and I have to support that. The rest of his family is upset, and his grandparents might not come because of it and want me to push him to invite his half brother but I'm not going to start our marriage off like that, he is going to be my husband and I need to respect his decisions like he respects mine. I'm not going to force him to invite someone who has been nothing but toxic in his life just for his family's sake. If they don't want to show up because of that, its so upsetting but we made our choice and they made theirs - we will enjoy our day no matter what.

My husband only has his brother coming to our wedding, and it’s probably for the best. Trust your husband on this - you don’t want drama at your wedding!!

If you didn’t want to do something and your fh kept at you to do it, how would that make you feel?
Please step out of your experience to consider him in this. He has told you he does not want his family there. You both are building a life together, if you don’t trust him enough to decide who he wants at the wedding, how can you trust him with a million other decisions that will come down the line.
Who does it serve to force him to have people at the wedding he does not want? He knows his family. Trust him.

I think you may be projecting your idea of family onto your FH. It seems like he does not have a close relationship with his family and does not want them there. You'll have to accept that not everyone shares the same view on family.

Agree with Rebecca and Sarah's specific points.

You need to trust that your FH is making the decision that is best for him and that will make him happy.
You need to believe him when he says he doesn't want them there.
You need to listen when he says he doesn't want them there.

There may be history here that you don't know about that is very hurtful to him. Or there may not be - but he clearly has a reason. Someone doesn't just arbitrarily say they don't want their family present at their wedding. And whatever that reason is, it is up to him to decide that it is a reason they should not be invited. It is up to you to abide his wishes. You asked, he gave you an answer.

Your fiancé is doing exactly what a husband should do: Placing you above all others.

I know you may be well-meaning, and maybe trying to make things better for him and his family, but I say don't insert yourself in situation where he understands his family dynamic better than anyone.

Drop the topic of his family, and instead concentrate on building your marriage on a solid communication foundation that way when or if family is in the picture again, you know how to navigate the intricacies of those relationships with grace.