Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes April 2023

Family Issues

Kaitlyn, on July 28, 2021 at 8:01 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Well this all started way before I met soon to be husband. To sum it up... my parents are divorced (I was a baby) so both sides do not really get along. Then when I met the my love things were fine till people’s true color came out. His parents and grandparents (that are still alive) are just nothing but toxic people. His sisters and brother in law are wonderful!! We do not have much contact with his parents and grandparents and we are fine with that. The main issue is my father and my paternal grandmother. They have not like him from the start for very stupid reasons. My father made it his goal to talk horrible about him to the point where my grandmother is not pleased with him. I am not close to my father he really was not much of a father to me. Let's just say he is a jerk and we will leave it at that. Any who, this man was expecting to walk me down the aisle and have the father daughter dance because he is the father. He was ok with me compromising and not getting what I want so he could get the attention that he believes he deserves. I have already thought of ways for him to "help out" and get attention. But he is not ok with that either. I know for a fact that there is no chance of him helping to pay for the wedding. I already decided that my Pap-pap (who was my father figure) will walk me down the aisle and have a grandfather and granddaughter dance. I already have a song and its perfect. My father did not take it well and has been acting like a child for awhile. On top of this my grandmother who I have never been close to has this tendency to say she is coming to an event and before or the day of call and says she is not coming. She did this on my 25th birthday. She thinks everything is about her and her appearance. The venue that we fell in love with has a policy where you can not take left over food with you.

Here are what I need advice on. Do I comprise for my wedding and give my father what he wants or do I stick to my guns and have it my way? Also, do I not invite my grandmother to the wedding and reception because I know there is no way she will be coming? Thank you

Flag
Hide content

5 Comments

Latest activity by Maggie, on July 29, 2021 at 12:10 PM

Super September 2022
Sarah · on July 28, 2021 at 9:07 PM
Flag

Hide content
First off, I’m so sorry they are making this difficult for you. This day is about you and your honey and no one else.
I will say that if it were me in this situation I would do what I want and what would make me happy. If your grandfather walking you down the aisle and not inviting your grandma would make you happy, then that is what you should do. I know it’s easier said then done. I am very much a push over so I can see where you might want to do what other people want, but try to think of yourself and what you want. I hope this helps.
- Reply
VIP July 2017
Becky · on July 28, 2021 at 9:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
Honestly, I wouldn't even invite Dad - and Grandma would be a no go as well
- Reply
Master October 2020
Yasmine · on July 29, 2021 at 2:43 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would stick to the plan and have your grandfather walk you down the aisle. If your dad can't even support your relationship, why would he deserve getting that moment? Especially if he wasn't there for you. As far as your grandmother, I would invite her and simply let her decline or that's what you think she would do.
- Reply
Super September 2022
Ashlee · on July 29, 2021 at 8:41 AM
Flag

Hide content
Stick to what is most important to YOU not your dad or grandmother. It doesn't sound like either of them is supportive of you or your wishes.
- Reply

VIP January 2019
Maggie · on July 29, 2021 at 12:10 PM
Flag

Hide content
"Here are what I need advice on. Do I comprise for my wedding and give my father what he wants or do I stick to my guns and have it my way? Also, do I not invite my grandmother to the wedding and reception because I know there is no way she will be coming?"
You already know the answer to the first question. There is nothing you can say or do that will make your father happy (as his behavior has demonstrated), so why not just stop trying to appease him? Accept that he is who is he and let him throw his tantrum in a corner.
As for your grandmother, it sounds like you are sure she won't come whether or not you invite her, so it comes down to your choice: if you would like her to be there, invite her. That way you have done your part and the rest is up to her. If you don't want her there anyway, then it's very simple: no invitation for her.
- Reply