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Dedicated June 2019

Family issues

Amy, on May 8, 2019 at 12:24 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

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So, my FH, is starting to make comments about being worthless and not the man he should be... his oldest son, almost 20 sent him some unfriendly messages on Christmas, basically he’s a pos and never did anything for him, and he can go get married to that sl.t (me). We’ve been together close to 19 years, have 2 kids 17 and 13, and I’ve been in his sons life since he was around 1. He’s went on many vacations with us, even went to my brothers in Minnesota for thanksgiving and his dad (FH) couldn’t go. So FH has back child support, for the son that he’s never done anything for.. so today FH starts saying I could’ve done better and he’s a terrible person... I don’t know how to deal with it, we’ve been together almost 20 years, have two amazing kids, and decided to get married. So I asked if he’s second guessing anything, he says he screwed up and should’ve been better off to support us. Yes he should’ve fought more at court, but we’ve all been there. The worst part is my son idolized the oldest, but if his name comes up now, he says I don’t know him, I have no brother.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Amy, on May 15, 2019 at 12:00 PM

Devoted April 2022
Amber · on May 8, 2019 at 2:59 AM
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Sorry your family is going through this. I’m definitely no expert here, but it sounds like your FH is beating himself up pretty badly and maybe he (individually and/or with his son) could benefit from talking to a counselor/therapist? Maybe his son is upset that his father owes his mom (or him now that he’s an adult - I don’t know how this works) back child support and instead of paying that, he’s putting out money for a wedding? I’m not at all saying that it justifies his behavior, just wondering why his son suddenly feels this way towards your FH. I hope the 2 of them are able to fix their relationship soon!
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Dedicated June 2019
Amy · on May 8, 2019 at 8:09 AM
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He is paying child support, over half his check goes to that. He owes a decent amount but it’s his fault, he never kept records of how much he gave in the past, would just hand over money and not get receipts or anything. The mother never worked and was always on public assistance, years ago she was audited by the welfare office, and where FH had no records of the money he had given her, his obligation practically tripled, and it’s all to pay what she received from the state for many years.
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Super August 2019
Tina · on May 8, 2019 at 9:21 AM
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There is going to be nothing easy about dealing with this. It's too late to undo the past. I've always heard it said..hurt ppl hurt ppl. Your step son is just hurting. So he hurt his dad out of jealousy. I think the only thing you can do is support your honey with whatever he wants to do. If it's trying to reconcile or the exact opposite. Give him a few days too. He will fill better
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on May 15, 2019 at 10:01 AM
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Hi Amy! I'm so sorry that your family is going through this and I hope the situation has gotten a bit better. I'm sorry that it has spilled over to affect your other children also. It must be quite difficult to deal with.
Has your FH had a chance to sit down with his eldest son and discuss that has been going on in their relationship lately?
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Dedicated June 2019
Amy · on May 15, 2019 at 12:00 PM
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Thank you. FH has no way to get in touch with him, his son has pretty much blocked him on everything. There’s really nothing he can do.
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