Family secrets

View Quoted Comment Perfect. Then he has stated exactly what he wants. So, that is what you guys should do! Invite everybody in his family that he wants to invite, have him give his mother a heads up that his father is invited and that you will be announced using his last name, and leave it up to her to handle breaking the news to her daughters.

View Quoted Comment I think you are putting too much of this on your shoulders. If he wants to be announced by his last name then that is what you should do. Why do you feel it becomes your issue if his mom doesn’t tell his sisters? Will they cause a scene at the wedding? Like someone else said the 20 year old most likely knows and the 11 year old probably won’t even be paying enough attention to realize anything so I’m just not sure why this is your issue.

View Quoted Comment I want to put this nicely his mother is a bit crazy she would make a scene at the wedding. I am pretty sure the 20 year old probably knows. The 11 year old would notice. She notices small things all the time. The mother holds grudges she still threatens to beat up my fiancé’s ex baby mother. It just stresses me out because I know how she acts.

View Quoted Comment Just nervous she is a bit crazy

View Quoted Comment Then maybe mom doesn’t need to be invited to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I wish I have my own issues with her. I however know that will cause even more issues if we don’t invite her.

So the actual issue is that his mom is going to be the one causing a scene and not so much that his sisters will find out this big family secret. FH needs to sit down with mom (FH needs to do this, not you - he needs to do this for you) and let her know that this is his wedding and he will do and invite the people he wants to invite and she will act like an adult. Then choose someone that can be the chaperone for mom and if she starts acting any sort of way this person can escort her out. FH needs to step up and deal with this issue, not you. The stress you are putting on yourself regarding his family is not fair.

View Quoted Comment It is a bit of both stressing me out

View Quoted Comment If he wants to invite everyone then do that. The mom made her bed by lying so she has to deal with consequences. Don't cater to her whims no matter what you do. The rest of the family should not be punished because she's a pathological liar. There's lots of families that have that one person who creates drama/lies for attention and everyone around them suffers as a result when they did nothing wrong.


As far as announcements, have the dj use your first names to avoid unnecessary confusion.

View Quoted Comment My fiancé said he will talk to her. He thinks however it is funny and wants to sit them next to each other. If things were out in the opened and she never lied thing be great. Because they get along and talk often but she also hides that fact from her kids. The whole thing just blows my mind my family basically shares everything. There are no major secrets. But I love your response.