Family shows no interest in my wedding

I’m with you. My mother got the invitation and said “well have a nice one”. Most of mine aren’t going. Those who said they would backed out. Keep the ones who care enough close. Just cuz they aren’t blood doesn’t mean they aren’t family. U got this. It’s your day. Focus on you and your spouse. It’s your future together. Not the bystanders

Your MOH doesn't have any obligation to help you plan at all. She's also not obligated to throw a shower for you if she's busy.

If your wedding's in May I would assume most of the stuff is done already but you could think of hiring a day of coordinator to make sure things run smoothly, if you're worried about it.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. I hope you have a great wedding.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so alone. It must be a time to really miss your mom. It sounds like she was a great person.
You're not obligated to have any of these people at your wedding, if they're not going to step up. You can just have the people who bring you joy and support you. That being said, some people don't have "acts of service" as a love language. For some people, you have to say, "I wish my mom were here to host my bridal shower. She threw so many nice ones. Do you know where I could have one?" Or, " Hey, sis, are you planning on hosting XYZ for me? I'm not sure what I should plan for." Maybe also make the wedding smaller, so your partner can participate in planning. Good luck!

While I can see why you're hurt that no one is throwing you a BS since your mom did throw parties for others, no one is obligated to throw one regardless of what their reasons are.

Your MOH-sister doesn't have anything to do besides purchasing an appropriate outfit and showing up on time on the day of (and at the rehearsal if you're doing one) .She is NOT obligated to help plan: if she offers, then that's kind of her but it's your job (and your groom's when he can). It's not even the parent's job nor the in-law's unless they offer, of course.

I'm in your camp on this: "and I should be over-the-top grateful that she would miss the meet to come to my wedding": dad is TOTALLY,UTTERLY WRONG as if your sis is doing a favor and as if she was forced accept the MOH 'role'.

And last but not least: the fact no one is interested in heping you plan is a blessing, At least you can have the wedding YOU want.

There are so many horror stories here on WW about overbearing moms andin-laws making the wedding more about them than about the couple because they're paying or contributing, like inviting people who has met 0 halves of the couple or barely know them or forcing them to do a religious ceremony even though they wanted it to be secular, etc...

I should clarify my date isn’t in May. I accidentally clicked the wrong date and can’t figure out how to change it!

No one is obligated to help you. Your dad is already generously contributing money, which is more than required of him. If you and your fiancé can't handle planning a wedding right now, then postpone until you can or have a courthouse ceremony that doesn't require planning. (This is basically what my sister did. She got married when she was in med school and too busy to plan a whole wedding, so they had a tiny chapel ceremony with 12 guests and put the reception off until later.)

Here's the thing, its true that no one is obligated to help you (no one in my family is offering to help unless asked). However, I think you're ultimately having a much harder time with this because you know how involved your mom would've been and you're missing her input and involvement. If you would like to have a bridal shower, get together with your bridesmaids and plan one together. While some may say it's not socially appropriate to plan your own bridal shower, everyone has one and no one really cares who is hosting, regardless of what anyone says.

Its incredibly unfortunate that you wont have your mom there for you on your big day or along for the journey of planning. However, I think you could take this opportunity to really honor your mom in so many ways.

I'm sorry you're going through all that. Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when thinking about how much your mom would have helped and probably missing her extra at a time like this.

When your sister agreed to be your MOH, that meant agreeing to attend. I'm assuming you didn't hold her at gunpoint until she agreed, so attending is part of the deal. Unless she's missing some major qualifying meet, sitting one out isn't going to make or break her career. I'm sure you are incredibly grateful she is missing the meet, but a wedding is a major life event. With your mom not there, having your sister there probably means that much more to you as well. Hopefully your dad comes around to understanding that. Generally speaking, men tend to understand and value sports more than weddings, so he may just be operating from what he knows and probably isn't trying to be intentionally hurtful. He may also be feeling a certain way about your wedding in light of your mom not being there. Do you think having a talk with him would help get some of this out in the open? If not, just tell him you appreciate that your sister's going to be there and change the subject.

As for the shower, I agree with Elycia about getting together with your bridesmaids, aunts, or whoever and planning a shower. I've never really put much thought into who hosts a shower, and you could even designate someone as the point of contact so it doesn't appear as you hosting your own shower.

I hope you feel better and things work out!

No one except fiancé has any obligation to help plan. The rest are guests. Maybe as a compromise, come up with 3-5 ideas for each area and have fiancé pick their favorite.


A bridesmaid/maid of honor is only obligated to purchase a dress and show up on the wedding day to support you. Were your expectations of the role, both financially and emotionally, made very clear when you asked her?

Hey Courtney! I know I’m late to the conversation here, but I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand how alone you are feeling right now. First off, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. I know exactly how you feel, bc I lost my Dad too, so I get it. Losing a parent changes everything. It changes the dynamics in a family and there is always this cloud bc you are missing your person. Its hard and I get how you are feeling.


My family hasn’t been involved in my planning either because we’ve had a string of deaths in the family aside from my Dad. I lost my Father 2 years ago, and he was the glue to our family and was always there to cheer me on. I miss him so much and I know he would’ve been over the moon excited for us and there to help if he could. I know my mom is going through a lot emotionally and financially right now, and do not want to impose and put anything else on her. Knowing all of this, my fiancés parents have had a lot of criticism of where and how much we are thinking about spending on our wedding, yet they are not giving us $1. I too am also having a really hard time planning all of this alone and with knowing it all would be different if my Dad was still around.
I’m so sorry that you are going through something similar. It’s not so much about the expectation of help I think, as it is about really having family cherish these big moments in life, bc we both know too well that they can be gone in an instant. I’m so sorry and I wish there was something more I could say, but I just wanted you to know that you are heard and acknowledged in your feelings and that you are not alone. I really wish you the best in planning and I hope at the end of all of this, you have the most amazing wedding that you and your honey deserve. ❤️

As someone who had to take the nclex what feels like eons ago, it’s stressful beyond belief. Even some of the coolest cucumbers I know struggled in preparing for it. Give your fiancé some grace, let him get through the nclex testing, and then you two can both plan your hearts out together. A nursing student brain is not meant for nclex prep and wedding planning at the exact same time- that’s a lot of stressful life events