Family Style Dinner

Personally, I do not care for family style. I do not care for passing the dishes and then there are those moments when the first couple of people take more than they should.

I put on a luncheon recently. The staff told me that they did not have space to plate the lunch, so they wanted to do it family style.

Out came the food. All went well with the salads, but once the crab cakes (the entree) arrived, the first four people watch took two. There was one (very large) crab cake for each person. There was a made scramble at the end, to re-portion crab cakes to those of us (yes I was one of them) who did not get one.

I've been a guest when family style dinners have been served. Portion control has always been an issue and guests left hungry as a result. IMO family style eating is not a good option for a large scale event.

I did family style with 8-10 people to a round table. We did first course of salad, beat salad and a pasta salad, second course was a chicken, steak and a fish with three sides. It was more expensive but was what I liked. The pros of a buffet without all the walking around.

It should be noted that your caterer should be prepared to have multiples per person but they usually bring out smaller batches so leftovers that did not go to the table can be taken by bride and groom at the end.

I wanted a family style, but the venue kind of persuaded me not to even though it would have been more money for them. In the end I'm going to save $2,000 by doing a seated/served dinner.

Definitely talk to your caterer- some caterers are cheaper for buffet (less staff) and some are cheaper for plated (less food). It's all variable.

Not a huge fan of family style. I've been to one, and believe it or not, there are people who over-serve themselves which makes it awkward for the person who's halfway around the table (since they realize there isn't enough for the balance of the table -- so they either ignore it, take a tiny portion, or cut a portion in half). It also produced table clutter and left people asking, "Excuse me, can you pass the ____." No offense to those doing it or who have done it, it's just not my favorite.

What I'm definitely not seeing is a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs -- not only isn't that really wedding food when people have traveled, are lodging, and bringing a gift, but it's also one of messiest things to serve and eat.

If budget is a serious issue, I'd suggest you cut your guest list and go the restaurant route. You'll find many restaurant owners are very willing to work with all kinds of budgets, serve plated meals that are more appealing than spaghetti, and they'll probably give you several choices...including gluten free, vegan, and vegetarian.

I like the idea of family style. I would go for it.

Family-style is the norm for Chinese wedding banquets. We use Lazy Susan's, which most Chinese restaurants that do authentic dinners already have. Lazy Susan keeps things tidy and allows you to (mostly) avoid passing dishes around. If you'd have to rent/buy them though, that'd probably eat the difference in cost savings over buffet/plated though.

MataDC -- Oh, I know...the traditional Chinese wedding is laden with food courses...and the Lazy Susan is a perfect serving instrument for a festive meal of the wedding caliber.

However, this OP wants to serve spaghetti and meatballs, family style, at her wedding. Whether she serves it family style or on a Lazy Susan is immaterial. It's not wedding food.

We did family style (but had picnic like tables with 6-8 people each). Menu was:

Dried meat/cheese platter (2/table)

Appetizers (4 options- chicken satay, shrimp with guacamole, tomato with mozzarella bruschetta and oysters in a foam sauce) (2/table)

Individual soup

Individual salad (goat cheese and beet with lettuce)

Platter of meat- chicken, prime rib and pork loin served with potato gratin and vegetables (2/table)

Dessert was wedding cake.

It worked well with the longer table as everyone had a tray within their reach. Refills were offered for the mains/sides. We had no problem with everyone getting enough food (in fact a few people were surprised at how much food was served). We also made the decision for no table decorations in order to facilitate the meal style.

For our location, this worked very well but we only had a total of 40 people. (I have pictures of most of the courses if you want to see how it looked plated).

My stepsister did this. As a guest at first I thought oh nice and food was good but also inconvenient and annoying having to ask to pass this and that as someone else is digging into it as well. Then by the time I got what I wanted not enough in the bowl. Im not a fan though of family style to begin with though so this is just my personal opinion and experience.

I did family style for my engagement party and it worked great! People got only what they wanted and as much of it as they wanted and the whole "pass the whatever" thing kind of broke the ice hahaha.

I just saw the spaghetti and meatball idea.

Just no. It's impossible to serve and messy as shit.

But again; most of the negative comments stem from caterers who sell stuff they've never done....

My venue only does family style. We are having rounds that seat up to 10. I wasn't sure about it at first but spoke with several people via Yelp who had recent weddings there and said their guests raved about the food.

We are having standard cocktail hour with stations and passed apps. Dinner is a plated salad. Entrees are tuna and strip steak, sides are grilled asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes. Servers then come around with additional platters of entrees and serve guests more if they want, and replenish sides. The 3 people I spoke to on Yelp said their guests told them they were never without plenty of food and servers replenished quickly. Since they only do family style, they are experts at this type of serving. My wedding is also on the smaller side (about 70) and is family and close friends so I think family style will work nicely with this group. Dessert is being served buffet style as we are having a huge variety of pies, cupcakes, cookies, pastries and donuts.

To answer your question more directly, spaghetti and meatballs is a bad idea, family style does not have to be Tuscan seating (that's what the long tables are called), and as Celia said, be sure that you have a caterer who is highly experienced in family style serving.

ETA: while my venue is pretty reasonably priced (by NYC standards), it's definitely on par with the cost of a plated dinner.

I went to a family style wedding once. There was either a lot leftover or not enough.

One guy decided to move tables and added his chair to ours, and the meat that came on a platter for our table had enough for 10, but we had 11 people. You would think he'd just take the food from his own table but NOPE. So we were short on that... and of course he was first to take a piece. And the food nobody wanted just went to waste.

Definitely do plated or buffet, not family style

It honestly depends on how you do it...I personally love the family style dinner and I'm planning to do it for my wedding. I attended a event recently (not a wedding) that served family style BUT they put all the food on one huge platter instead of multiple dishes. This will save money and labor time. It was great and everyone loved it

So strange seeing that everyone is saying family style is the most expensive. Maybe it’s the location. In my area I’ve found that buffet is usually the cheapest, then family style then plated usually runs for about $80 to $300 per person. Averaging around 150 pp.

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That is completely false. Our wedding is family style at one of the most expensive hotels in St. Helena and it was the cheapest options. It's served French style and then put on the table. If it's not moving, the servers will help plate. Buffets are the most expensive (a MASSIVE waste) followed by plated dinner. The question wasn't whether or not you like or agree with family style. They were asking about how it's served on a round table and if it flows ok. I have the same questions. A 72" table with 8 people or 60" table with 8. How do you fit all the food on the round table with the centerpiece?I'd love to see pictures but can't find any.