Family ties

My mom and I have had a turbulent relationship throughout my entire life. I swear I’ve sworn her off so many times and always let her back in. She is manipulative and toxic in my life. I need to vent and tell the entire story in order for anyone to give an opinion.


My sister, who lives in California sent me $500 in Airbnb gift cards for my engagement. My fiancé and I were going to use those before the wedding to just get away for a little bit. We booked our flight to Florida, and paid $700 towards an Airbnb using $500 in Airbnb credit. After discussion about money we decided it wasn’t in our best interest to go to Florida before the wedding seeing us that we’re paying for everything ourselves. I reached out to my mom who was in Florida at the time and was planning on going back to Florida the days that we were there but didn’t have anything booked yet. I reached out to her and asked if she wanted to take over the Airbnb and just give me money for it so we didn’t lose out on any money. It has came to our realization that the Airbnb host was not going to give back the money if cancellation occurred and my fiancé and I were going to make it work and go because we didn’t want to lose out on all that money plus flights. My mom told me that she would take over the Airbnb with my other sister and pay for $500 worth of it so I would have my engagement money back. She swore up-and-down that she would do it for me. I told her over and over again if she couldn’t do it it was fine that my fiancé and I would go. She told me yes! She was going and $500 would be paid to me. So my fiancé and I went and canceled our flights. She gave me $240 for the tripAnd planned on giving another $260 in the coming weeks.
This past week and I was with my girlfriends planning a bachelorette party. My mom told me that she wanted to come to and I was like OK no problem. And then she told me that she was booking the room with a sister of mine that I have no contact with and haven’t had contact with in over 20 years. She is a heroin addict and has stole from my family and hurt me in soSo many ways possible. She is still an active user and a prostitute. Let her live her life that’s fine. But, she has no place in my life. Especially not at my bachelorette party. So I told my mom no.
From there this is where it gets it vindictive. The old mom that I had came out. She told me that she would not pay for Florida if I didn’t allow my sister at my bachelorette party. When I’m talking I had no relationship with her in years I’m talking years. She threaten to cancel Florida, so I canceled it. I figured I had the $240 that she promised to pay and I was gonna keep it to make up for losses because she wanted to cancel.
Because I wouldn’t give her back the $240 my mom and my sister, whom is the addict Decided that they were not going to give me back my wedding dress that my mom was holding for me. So I went to their house and I tried to get in my wedding dress only for my mom and my sister to laugh in my face and tell me that the dress was in my sisters friends truck laying in the back of it. I walked to where the dress would’ve been hanging in my moms closet and it wasn’t there. I lost it. They told me to give them the $250 and they’ll give me my wedding dress.
I cannot begin to explain how messed up the situation is for me. How vindictive and what a puppet master my mother is for playing me like that. She had my sister in my face I have marks all over my body because she scratched me and pulled my hair. This is my wedding. This is my wedding dress. I’ve always let her in but I need this to be the last time. I can’t allow her at my wedding but there’s a piece of me that says if I don’t allow her there everyone will be asking where she is and I don’t want that for myself on my wedding day. But there’s also a piece of me that thinks that she’ll show up with my addict sister and cause a scene.
My mom is estranged from most of her family. She is very controlled by money because she has none. She works the system To her advantage in so many ways. I need her out of my life. She is extremely toxic. I need motivation to make sure that she does not come to my wedding. She even one is low to hide my wedding dress from me.