Family unsupportive — help!

Ok this might be a bit long, sorry in advance. Here’s the back story: I’ve been divorced twice. My first marriage was totally a young and dumb kind of situation— I met my first husband and we had crazy chemistry and we were both each other’s rebounds. We knew each other for 6 months before we got engaged ...and then we got married on the same day (court house wedding—like I said young and dumb). Then we had our daughter who had severe medical issues and my ex just started spiraling. He became pretty unhealthy and when he threw something toward me, I was just done. I didn’t want to raise my daughter in that environment so I left him. That was like 7 years ago— since then, hes gotten help, and now we have a great cop parenting relationship. I regret nothing—I learned a lot and I got my daughter out of it.


My second husband was a more complicated and sad situation. We dated for three years, long distance. He was in the army and stationed in a different state. I was raising my daughter and getting my doctorate, so moving wasn’t an option. We got married earlier than we wanted to because my school dropped my daughter from my insurance and, with him being in the army, she could get great coverage if we got hitched. We wanted to get married eventually anyway so we thought, why not have a court house thing now and then a “real” wedding when he got out of the army (he was set to get out in late 2017). So we did. It was all good until he moved home and the transition from army to civilian life basically broke his mental health (he also was severely abused as a child). He just pretty much lost it. We had to call off the “real” wedding because he was like out of his mind and basically just being super depressed and having severe PTSD symptoms. We were a month out from the wedding—we lost all the money on the venue, the flowers, the DJ, the dress. Oh, my dress. I had spent so much energy customizing it and I eventually just told the seamstress you keep it because it was too sad to deal with. (Girls I had the bottom literally dipped in gold paint)
Anyway, we found him some great treatment centers and I tried to find the balance between being devoted and smart—military trauma is real, and I wanted to give him a chance to heal. Long story short, he didn’t get better enough to be healthy and—after being with him for five years—with a heavy heart I divorced him, knowing it was the only way to have a peaceful household to raise my girls (I got pregnant and had a second beautiful daughter with my second husband). That’s the short version. The long version involves 2 years of counseling, 9 different therapists and a LOT of crying, self reflection and learning the hard way.
I thought I would never love again. I felt like I was damaged goods — two kids, two baby daddies. But I was self sufficient so whatever. Then, when I wasn’t looking, I met my current partner. He’s so good for me—and for us, as a family. Loving, supportive, emotionally mature, smart funny blah blah. He loves my girls like his own (dude does the middle of the night bottle/diaper/rocking to sleep for the baby without being asked). He was solid when I was a mess for the first 6 months bc I was so terrified of being hurt again. There was never any pressure. He just made it very clear that he loved us and if we would have him, he wanted to be with us for the long haul.
It’s been a year. It’s only getting better and more stable and secure every day. My heart is finally healed enough to trust myself to know that, yes, I want this guy to be my life partner. I’m not in a position to get married right away (I have career and financial goals that I want to prioritize) but I want to honor that he’s so much more than a boyfriend. I want to be fiancés. He wants that too.
The problem is, in the words of my sister, my family “Doesn’t take my relationships seriously any more.” She told me that I should just make like easier on myself and my partner by waiting a few years so that everyone will accept it as a real relationship, because a year isn’t a long enough time. That hurts because I feel like I take my relationships very seriously, and it’s insulting to have people assume I don’t know what’s best for me. This man is family and I want to honor that by inviting him to join our family. At this point, the only reason I wouldn’t become engaged to him is because I’m worried about people acting like I’m being stupid (like, I’m a 35 year old successful business woman who is raising 2 beautiful girls and am killing it—I’m not a dumb kid anymore).
I want to propose to him on his birthday next month (he’d be totally fine with it). But I feel like I wouldn’t be able to tell my family because they’re so judgmental and “don’t take me seriously.” I need advice. Thanks for reading this far. (And for those who are asking, I set my profile to a false wedding date because it was so joyful to me when I was finally healed enough to start thinking about weddings AT ALL anymore. For a long time after cancelling the wedding with my ex I couldn’t see wedding stuff without feeling pain. So no, I’m not engaged yet but yes, I adore wedding planning stuff generally)