Family Vacation Before Wedding

I have mixed thoughts on this. I don’t like ultimatums... will he use the pending nuptials to get you to see things his way every time he can’t get his way? That’s not fair.

Has anyone asked when he would have the availability to go and try to schedule things so that he can partake? I don’t know the dynamics of your family but if he is feeling like it’s a constant battle something isn’t being made clear.

Hes upset because you two havent moved in together. Although you want to move in you haven’t because of your parents. It would be different if you didn’t move in because it was something you didn’t want. When you get married you and your spouse become one. After you get married will not wanting to disappoint your parents rank higher than pleasing your husband? I would be alarmed if I felt my spouse allowed their family to make small wedges between us. It would be something that would make me really reconsider marriage.

But I don’t think the way he went about things are okay. Threatening to postpone the wedding is a bit much. Sometimes when we feel strongly about things we go drastic. I wouldn’t want to enter a marriage on tense terms or push my marriage back for a vacation. Not even for the principal of things. We would have a good long talk about the spouse/family balance. If I felt we were on the same page I’d stay out of solidarity. If I felt this would be a continuous issue I’d cancel the wedding completely. As much as you may not want to lose someone you also don’t want to be trapped between your husband and your family for years and years to come. You don’t want to constantly feel like you have to choose one or the other at every other turn. You will be miserable. I hope whatever happens that you are at peace with the end results. I hope thru communication you can find understanding with each other.

You shouldn't be given an ultimatum regarding seeing your family or not. That's just WEIRD. He clearly does have some type of trust issue or he wouldn't be so bothered. I would seek relationship counseling with a *professional* as they can mediate and offer advice on how to have a healthier relationship. Good luck!