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Savvy July 2020

Family

Brittany, on June 25, 2019 at 11:46 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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So, has anyone else experienced this? Originally my family told me “I could have whatever I wanted” and did not provide a budget. However, I’m a reasonable person and I was able to keep the per person cost below $100 in New Orleans for 100 people. After I sent my family the numbers, they backed out. Now, I don’t want to be a jerk, but my fiancée and I decided we could handle the cost for up to 50 people with no help. However, because we want some of our friends to be there, some of our family will not be invited. Did you guys cut out family for friends? Is it ok to say “hey this is what we could afford and not everyone can come”?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Nichole, on June 25, 2019 at 9:44 PM

VIP June 2020
Jessica · on June 25, 2019 at 11:50 AM
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We invited immediate family ( parents, grandparents, siblings and a couple Aunts and Uncles we were close with) and that's it. The rest is all friends. We have about 100-120 on our guest list and probably about 20 of them are family. Don't feel bad, do what you want. We agreed on this and relayed the message to our families and they were fine with it.
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Devoted July 2019
Future Mrs. McCully · on June 25, 2019 at 11:52 AM
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My sister did not invite any of the cousins when she was planning her wedding to cut the costs.
I had cousins that I really wanted to be there so I invited the cousins that I am close with. and to save money we decided for it to be adult only which cut the guest count way down.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 25, 2019 at 11:55 AM
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I think it's ok to not invite all your family especially if you aren't even close to them. Friends can be so close they'd be like family.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on June 25, 2019 at 11:56 AM
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It's perfectly fine to not invite people you aren't close to.
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Master August 2019
Allie · on June 25, 2019 at 11:57 AM
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Since you are paying, you can dictate the guest list. I had to cut out some family to get my number down to 100 so we could afford it.
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Savvy July 2020
Brittany · on June 25, 2019 at 12:58 PM
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Thank you guys for putting me at ease with this. I figured too, maybe after the wedding I could send letters/cards saying we got married and maybe include a couple of pictures. What do y’all think about that idea?
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 25, 2019 at 1:01 PM
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It’s totally fine. If possible, after you figure out your friend list, invite family in “circles.” For example, after parents & grandparents, invite siblings & their spouses/kids. Still room for more? Just aunts and uncles. Have one favorite cousin? Make her a bridesmaid so other cousins won’t be upset they weren’t invited.
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Savvy July 2020
Brittany · on June 25, 2019 at 1:59 PM
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That’s a great idea!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 25, 2019 at 2:04 PM
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You're welcome!
Sorry your family bailed but very relieved they did so now instead of close to the wedding. Very smart of you both to plan the wedding you can afford. And because you're now paying for it, no criticism or demands from family... "no pay, no say!"
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Savvy November 2019
Nichole · on June 25, 2019 at 9:44 PM
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I would say do what makes you happy and can afford.
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