Fat ugly beast as the bride!!!-Am I taking the right step?

Do your research I know people personally that this did not work. You have to understand the mental part of food first. If you don't follow the program and eat when you are supposed to and drink when you are supposed to it can make you sick on contact. There are other methods and its a costly one with a foreign object in your body. Not trying to be smart but have you tried weight watchers? The leaders know what they are talking about and it is designed so you can eat and drink together. Just do your research its mostly a mental game but good luck! Hope this helps

Firstly don't be too harsh on yourself! I'm sure your FH thinks very highly of you, otherwise he would not have asked you to marry him :-) not matter what you look like.

Anyway make sure you look into the risks of gastric band surgery behind deciding on it. I've heard of people having issues with nutrient absorption following the surgery. Also some people find the surgery doesn't help much as you can get around it by eating small amounts of food frequently and as a result not reducing your calorie intake. Perhaps speak to your doctor to see what options you have and also check that you don't have a hormone disorder or anything which is affecting your ability to lose weight.

Ps - Good luck whatever you end up doing!!

I agree with the above that is mentioned. Go talk to your primary doctor and see what they say first. Then talk to the clinic and see what the pros and cons are. And do lots and lots of research. I have a close friend who got this surgery hoping it would be a quick fix but instead it gave her many other challenges that was difficult to deal with, she got depressed and gained it all back. Please do research before you do anything.

Good luck!

First of all, your FH would not be marrying you if he didn't think you were stunning and gorgeous. Being overweight does not make you ugly, a beast or a lesser person unworthy of being treated well. I know it can be hard when people have teased you about it and the media doesn't help, but honestly, screw them. No matter what size you are, I'm sure you will look so beautiful on your wedding day. Stop thinking of yourself as a "fat, ugly beast" as you're not. You are a wonderful, beautiful woman. I'd recommend going to a therapist to speak to someone about these issues.

Talk to a dr and specialist about the surgery only if you want to lose the weight for you, for health reasons. Otherwise your other issues will not allow it to be a real long term solution. Find out if OHIP or your insurance covers it but seriously don't do it just so you can look thinner on your wedding day as then you are letting the bullies win by giving into believing their harsh words.

You are not a beast. Im sure you are gorgeous. Otherwise your FH wouldnt be so in love with you.

Make sure its safe and is worth it before you do it. My sister had a procedure like this. She had the band. It worked for her for a little while then the band slipped. She was in horrible pain and through up constantly for a month. Thats how long it took for them to get her into surgery. Consider that because you dont want that to happen before your wedding.

weightloss is 70% diet 30% exercise. If you eat healthy and take a walk every night youll see a big change. Good luck!

I would encourage you to spend the money on a very motivating personal trainer/dietician. As someone who does competition bikini contests now I was at one point over weight and felt the same way about myself as you do then I decided to make big changes in my life. You need a life style change not a diet, diets don't work in the long term.

As far as surgery is concerned, most doctors will make you lose a certain amount of weight before going into surgery so that your body is conditioned better and so that you have a better mental grasp of the eating you will need to be doing afterwards. Surgery should be your last option not your first but for some people it's what they need. Just know that it's not going to be an easy thing to go through.

I know several people who have had gastric bypass, they all have issues now and have also put the weight back on. Loosing weight is not about how to do it the fastest you have to make lifestyle changes and work hard if you want to loose it and keep it off.

I think your first step would be to invest in a therapist and a nutritionist.

A lot of the times, elective surgeries like this won't be approved by insurance or even doctors if you aren't in the right state of mind and it sounds like you aren't.

Time to dig a little deeper.

I know someone who's had that surgery and it hasn't worked. She's gained weight and when she does eat it can make her feel sick. She may eat a lot less but it takes discipline to eat better and she does not. Diet and exercise is the only way to go in my books. Good luck!

I know many who have had various types of lap band surgeries, successfully. I only know one, who went back to her previous weight...and she has had the surgery three times! I dunno WHY any doctor would agree to that! (I think they cut her off on her fourth request!)

One thing...and this should concern any medical team...is the reasons you wish to have this. If you were talking about how you are concerned with your weight for health reasons, or you lack energy and etc...but this is a self esteem issue to appease others, from what I am reading?

I've had issues with my weight for about 20 years now. Everytime I stick to a diet of lean protein and veggies with a few whole grains thrown in, I lose about 3-5 lbs a week. I cook a lot of soups and stews in the winter. Here's a good place to start. http://www.thegraciouspantry.com/clean-eating/. I lost 50 lbs in 3 months last time and I didn't give up alcohol or exercise.

My mother and three of my aunt's had the lap band surgery about 4 years ago, and legit ALL of them have gained all of their weight back. It's no use getting surgery, when 80% of losing weight is tackling your mindset and way of thinking first. I agree with everyone else, speak to a nutritionist and a therapist first before you make any decisions.

Losing weight is an emotional and physical journey. You need to WANT to lose weight and put in the effort.

You can't be so hard on yourself first off. Start slow. Start eating right and exercising, even if it's just going for walks....

there is a nutritionist in that building by Credit Valley that you can speak to and she can help you find the right plan for you... It's not easy but you can do it. Stop being so hard on yourself!

You need to change your lifestyle by eating the proper foods and portion control.

Yes - the lap band surgery will be a great short term solution. But mentally you have to be prepared for the long term work to keep the weight off, or it will come back.

You got engaged before you lost weight, so I believe your FH loves you just the way you are.

If you consider yourself a fat ugly beast I don't recommend the surgery because that is more about self esteem, the surgery can't fix that...your FH obviously loves you the way you are, but you have to love yourself too. I thought about the surgery, and my FH and I discussed me getting it after the wedding. Friends I have talked to about it, have told me if you have any issue with food or self esteem the surgery doesn't really fix that and those issues will still be there afterwards....cut your self some slack...you are not a fat ugly beast...you are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!!!

I'm sure your fiance loves you no matter what. Obviously, the issue here is that you don't love yourself (if you're calling yourself ugly) and surgery won't change how your mind views yourself.

You definitely need to speak with your doctor to discuss the pros and cons for you, specifically, and to also prepare you for this life-changing decision. Generally, people who have this surgery can never eat a normal meal again and have to be very strict with taking multivitamins because that is the only way to take in what your body needs on such a small pouch for a stomach.

If your wedding is soon, you will need to consider recovery time and any surgery to remove any excess skin that can get in the way of your movements after drastic weight loss.

You need to stop calling yourself bad names. If someone else called you bad names (cont...)

(...cont)

you'd cut them out of your life. You need to cut that mindset out of your life because you're just hurting yourself by giving yourself that kind of abuse. The only "ugly beast" you have to tackle there is the mean part of your brain that is telling you that you are fat and ugly.

Take care of your mind (self-esteem, self-confidence) first. Take some time to love yourself at least as much as others (family and FH) love you. Seek a therapist and a nutritionist for help and guidance. and do some considerable research before tackling the weight issue.

But before all that, JUST BREATH!

What is the band really going to do in a few months?