Feel like FH and I have been growing apart since we got engaged...

Wait until your premarital counseling to start getting gloomy. Your pastor should be able to help you two get to the root of what the issue is and it's so much easier to resolve issues after that. My FH and I got to the point a few months ago where it was now the longest relationship either of us had been in, and we were getting into arguments and bickering all the time. It took us a while to realize that we were both subconsciously restless, and once we did it was a lot easier to talk ourselves down when we starting getting frustrated with each other.

Try taking the five love languages quiz. It can really help you understand the things that upset each other. When your primary love language is not being fulfilled it is easy to get upset.

I second @LittleDemon on the Five Love Languages thing. Also, it's helped FH and I through our whole relationship knowing each other's Meyers-Briggs personality type! You can go to 16personalities to find that quiz. The results have been crazy accurate for us, and my whole family really.

I just did the quiz, I think I've taken it before because I remembered the categories. Will have to ask FH to take it.

@Nikki, we just got off the phone and I told him how I was feeling. He said this weekend will be a no wedding planning/no house talk weekend. That we need time to decompress and he's right. It just sucks, I envisioned this to be a very happy exciting time and it's just not.

@libby and yeah, I'm looking forward to the counseling. I think it will be beneficial, even though we are mostly happy, we aren't perfect. Lots of stress is showing that.

I find that for many couples, planning takes over their lives, and that's really not healthy. You have a relationship, that's why you're getting married; not to make the planning a third full time job that you share.

Do what you always did, without constant wedding talk. That should definitely help.

Both things that you are working on can be stressful. It is about money, logistics and sometimes feelings are hurt. It isn't the fact that you have these issues, it is how you and FH work through them. There will always be rough patches. I think the weekend free thing is a great idea.

DH and I fought constantly during our engagement. When the rubber hit the road though, we realized what was important. Us: our relationship and where it was headed. Granted, we had some stressors during our engagement that most people don't have, but as soon as we stopped planning, everything fell into place and it was beautiful. Just take some time off from planning. It shouldn't take over your life!

We just bought a house and the day we closed was about 6 weeks prior to our wedding date. It gets stressful, but the best thing to do to reconnect as a couple and remember why you're doing all this in the first place.

About a month after we got engaged we agreed to reserve wedding talk to Saturday morning over breakfast or brunch. That is our time to get everything wedding related out and discussed. Of course there are exceptions if a decision needs to be made and time is of the essence but I do try to limit that card. This helps to make it so on the other days we talk about stuff like we used to.

Oh - and we go on WONDERFUL dates!

I'm going to blame it on the home buying process-- easily the most stressful thing I've done in my life so far. I couldn't imagine doing that while also wedding planning and dropping all that month at once!!

I can relate. My FH became a bit distant from me and his mom soon after the engagement. We knew it was financial stress. As soon as we locked in the venue and photographer he returned to his normal self. I think the unknown was stressing him out. Luckily I was able to find a venue and photographer within our budget.

I also try really hard to not overwhelm home with wedding talk. I actually keep it to a bare minimum he doesn't like this kinda stuff. I am beyond thankful for the WeddingWire community I'm able to get my wedding fix out and 2 of my bridesmaids are equal obsessed w/ wedding planning so I can talk to them about it all day long.

I think your future hubby will turn around

Definitely take the five love languages quiz and read the book! My FH and I read together before even getting engaged and it has made all the difference in our perceptions of one another/our communication.

Also, keep in mind that SOME men become overwhelmed with such great transition and you have two major life events taking place. Becoming homeowners and marrying. This is huge and can be overwhelming. I know that the process has been challenging to my FH and he has been less involved because he worries about his ability to be the best partner every day (an impossible expectation many people hold themselves to). I would take a little breather away from wedding and house and plan a nice date just the two of you and leave all of that aside for a day.

FH and I do something together whenever we cross big things off the list. Usually dinner or grab a coffee from a favourite shop, etc. Something to toast to our progress and to spend quality time together. Its too easy to get wrapped up in the details and stress on top of everything else and we found this helped us enjoy every step a little more.

I feel the same, it's being super hard. He feels like we're putting so much in the wedding we're going to be further away from home buying ... at this point it's one or the other... I'm torn and I don't know what I want most of the time.

Fights are way more common now and I really don't know how to patch things sometimes. I hope it passes, makes me super sad.

@OP - FH and I just went on a minivacation for 2 days. There was no wedding talk between us, just time to drink, hike, and spend with friends we don't see nearly enough. It was fantastic to get away just the two of us and not worry about anything else.

I'm sorta in the same boat as you. I'm doing most of the planning & we just got approved to buy a house. Lately I think I've been overwhelmed so my patience is a lot thinner. We have 6 kids total (we share 1), I make his lunch every morning at 4 am, take kids to school (4 different schools), pick em all up & take 3 to sports practices. Some how I manage to work as well. I deal with baby mama drama & lately that has been pushing my buttons bad. But he insists on having expectations of me & always wants or needs more. He's annoying...I do a lot. I mean f*** I'm not wonder woman. Anyways, I told him we need to take a time out for ourselves & really talk about my feelings.

When I got married, I found out that my fiancee had zero interest in wedding planning. He just wanted some purple because it was his favorite color. Okay. So, myself and his mother planned the wedding. Some people are just not interested in the details of party or wedding planning. Ask him if that's true for him. Then graciously let him off the hook, and don't take it personally.

FH is definitely ready for a "free" weekend, I know I need one too it's just super hard for me to let my brain calm down. I'm like the energizer bunny. And yes, FH is very much like "honey, the three biggest things people do around our age is buy a home, get married and have kids, we are doing 2 of those three (house and wedding) at the same time. It's understandable that we are grumpy", and he's definitely very right. It's a lot to take on, and we are excited for it! But I just need to remember not to let it get to me and make me feel like my relationship is falling apart.. especially considering the circumstances. I don't know why he keeps loving me but he does! Haha

Also @lex If I were you I'd be like "um, FH are you kidding me? We have SIX KIDS and I do it all, crazy ass! I'm amazing!" I'm just kidding, but you DO sound like super woman!

We had a long engagement, which was nice because we would take months to not plan and enjoy being with each other. Take a break!! And go somewhere fun for a date