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Expert October 2020

Feel like my sister is trying to compete

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Futuremrsm, on October 17, 2019 at 1:04 PM

So my sister is 2 years older than me. I've always hit milestones before her just because I'm mature for my age. When my FH and I started looking for a house, she suddenly started looking too. She acted like she was in a rush for the entire process. FH and I ended up taking a break on the house hunting and she got a house, which is great I'm happy for her, but she's acting like she beat me to it. Now she keeps talking about "her wedding" when she's not even engaged. Today I told her that she is more than welcome to have any of my wedding decor after my wedding to use for hers and she said "I'll probably be married before then". Like, my mom is paying for my dress which is a lot of money for her (she set the budget not me) and now my sister is expecting to get married before my wedding which is a year away? All while there isn't even a ring on her finger. I get it, she's the older sister and feels like she needs to be first, but she hasn't been dating her boyfriend as long as I've been dating my FH. I just wanted this one thing and she always has to try to take the spotlight away from me. I never get attention in the family and the one time everyone is excited for something for me she wants to go ahead and be the first one to do it. Ughh

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Expert October 2020
Futuremrsm · on October 17, 2019 at 3:39 PM
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Wow thank you so much Taylor. Great advice
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Just Said Yes April 2022
Itse · on April 25, 2022 at 5:23 AM
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I know exactly how you feel… sometimes I wonder if I’m over analyzing… like maybe all of this competing is not really happening. Reading all this makes me feel my situation is felt by many. My sis beat me to the punch right before my fiancé was going to propose. She announced she wanted to go to the courthouse even though there was no proposal and no ring. She panicked that i would be engaged before her. It was so obvious. Its sad actually… that they feel so in competition that they don’t get to experience the true romance of it for themselves. They rush it to impress others but they go home at the end of the day saddened by the missed opportunity. I have just decided not to share my plans anymore and I also have stayed away from doing whole family events. She has shown me she can not handle the whole immediate family events without making irrational decisions that will impact her entire life. I don’t want to be the one responsible for her making these life lasting decisions cause she is so obsessed with being first.

What I want to tell her: “Please don’t life your life based on what I do. Life is too short to not move through it in a genuine way. It is much sweeter and more rewarding when you do it the correct way which is to wait till the best timing for your life. To find the best man for you is worth waiting for.”
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Expert August 2019
N · on June 28, 2022 at 1:59 AM
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Just stumbled upon this and wondered how it turned out lol
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