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Devoted July 2021

Feeling a little down

Lindsay, on August 30, 2020 at 11:44 AM Posted in Planning 0 14

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Is anyone else feeling a little down about the different state restrictions? I’m in NY which seems to be very strict on restrictions. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy our numbers are staying low and that we put in place guidelines to keep people safe but NJ which is so close to me and it seems to be allowing weddings to go on as normal with dancing and all they just have to be outside. Now I already got married last month in my backyard don’t get me wrong it was still beautiful and I married my best friend but I’m still feeling a little incomplete because I didn’t get to wear my dress yet,he didn’t wear his tux and my girls didn’t wear their dresses yet there are a lot of moments I haven’t had yet that we’re special to me. I pushed my party til next year to be able to do those things but I can’t help but not worry about what things will look like next year either and if I will actually get those moments that I’ve always wanted considering my venue is an inside venue. Not to mention the amount of money I have just sitting there puts a damper on things more 🙄 I guess I’m just feeling a little down that some states are allowing it to go on just outside and others are not. Not looking for any type of argument regarding safety that’s always number one which is why I postponed my big party just looking for some support and validation and if anyone is feeling the same way. TIA💜

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Latest activity by Lindsay, on August 31, 2020 at 4:03 PM

Expert September 2020
Emily · on August 30, 2020 at 11:55 AM
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Yeah, I feel you - we're two weeks out at this point in VA. Nearly all his family has dropped out, and we're holding on the seating chart because there may be more empty tables.
I'm trying to figure out a better story to tell myself, because right now I think we're in the same boat.
I'm worried that every wedding I go to in the future I'll just be thinking about how ours was so empty and sad. But trying to battle that and build in/ focus on the small special moments of the day - this is the only one I get, and we'll just have to make the best of it.Chin up - I think this type of mindset will hopefully make the covid marriages stronger. They always say the less you spent on the wedding the longer the marriage - let's try to use this to refocus. It's a tough time, but I hope you can find enjoyment in it.
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Devoted October 2021
Adrienne · on August 30, 2020 at 11:57 AM
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Hi friend! I'm sorry you had to postpone your wedding. It's pretty sucky, and I get how it feels to see other states having more lax regulations and people still able to get married. I'm from NJ, supposed to have big wedding this October but will have a minimony instead and the big party next year. I can assure you that while, yes, you can have outdoor gatherings of a high number of people, all dance floors are supposed to be closed. I know some venues are allowing the special dances, but they are not supposed to allow everyone at the party dancing.
Just wanted to say I'm in a similar position as you, and when I see people moving forward with their weddings, it extremely bums me out. But we made the decision to postpone to keep our loved ones safe and didn't want people to feel pressured to travel, but still wanted to be able to celebrate with everyone. Doesn't make it any less tough to see weddings moving forward. I am even jealous of people who got married last year, like dang they just missed a whole global pandemic, those lucky ducks lol.
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Devoted July 2021
Lindsay · on August 30, 2020 at 12:09 PM
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Absolutely love what you said! It is so true my parents have always said it’s not about the wedding it’s about the marriage! We will be stronger for it and your day will be amazing as well!💕
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Devoted July 2021
Lindsay · on August 30, 2020 at 12:10 PM
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Thank you for the reassurance it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my feelings! All the best to you!!💕
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Beginner October 2023
Amanda · on August 30, 2020 at 12:19 PM
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I completely understand. I live in Hawaii and our restrictions are really strict. We are currently on anther stay at home order and before that all our parks and beaches were closed. We also can’t have people in our homes as guests and can’t be out in groups of more than 5. I was supposed to have my big wedding celebration on October 4,2020 (we got married earlier in the year at the courthouse). We had to postpone in July because of the travel ban (people must quarantine for 14 days upon arrival). Now it looks like March may also be out of the picture. I could get on a plane and have the wedding I want in so many other places. But that is not an option. I may have to wait till there are no restrictions at all to proceed. I am moving at the end of the school year so I hope I can afford to return to Hawaii to hold the wedding celebration.
Side Note; My husband’s best friend is getting married in Idaho in September. They can proceed without restrictions and he can’t even attend because of the quarantine coming back. Very frustrating
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Devoted July 2021
Lindsay · on August 30, 2020 at 12:26 PM
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Hi Amanda! Wow! I had no idea Hawaii was that strict I am so sorry to hear that! It is such a frustrating situation because no one knows how to plan or move forward and it’s like a constant worry of whatever date we push it to it still won’t be ok. I totally feel the same way of course I could move it somewhere else but I already have all this money sitting at my venue that I will not get back so it’s not worth starting all over. At one point I wanted to give it all up and walk away from the venue but that made me devastated knowing mine and my parents hard working money that was suppose to go to this day was just going to be wasted so I decided to postpone. I’m trying to just accepT it and say to myself that whatever happens next year I’m going to wear my dress and just move forward because the constant stress and worry just isn’t worth it. I hope you get the magical day that you deserve and all the best to you sending you nothing but positive vibes!!♥️
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Expert September 2020
· on August 30, 2020 at 12:46 PM
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I actually have a wedding to attend in a couple months in NY and they seem to be able to have it outside, with dancing and their full guest list. But mine was in NY too and my venue wouldnt move it outside or help us at all really. So I think it depends on the competency of the venue more than it does on state guidelines from what I can tell.
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Devoted July 2021
Lindsay · on August 30, 2020 at 12:55 PM
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Wow that is so interesting! I thought it depended on state restrictions but that sounds right maybe it is depending on each venue. Hoping by next year restrictions will be eased a little!
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Expert September 2020
· on August 30, 2020 at 1:11 PM
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It does but it seems like some venues are getting around those restrictions because we’ve talked to the couple and it seems they are able to have their normal wedding. It is outside so not sure if that makes a difference in guest count but I thought dancing was banned no matter what...I am sure by next summer things will be a lot different!
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Devoted July 2021
Lindsay · on August 30, 2020 at 1:37 PM
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I thought the same thing too🤷‍♀️ Very frustrating with restrictions being all over the place.
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VIP September 2020
Molly · on August 31, 2020 at 2:47 PM
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I hope you get to have your perfect celebration next year! I'm sorry you are feeling down, everything will work out!
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Devoted July 2021
Lindsay · on August 31, 2020 at 3:22 PM
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Thank you so much!💜🤗
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Expert November 2020
Shirley · on August 31, 2020 at 3:53 PM
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I just want to validate all of your feelings. I feel the same way. State restrictions (including some that I really don't think improve safety) have made it nearly impossible for me to have even a ceremony with immediate family only in our church. I care a ton about safety during the pandemic, but I also just feel UGH. Down lots of money and just feeling defeated. Seeing a friend in another state have a 100 person wedding was salt in the wound.

I hope you can take some time to mourn, eat comfort foods, hug your partner, and just feel your feelings. Yes you are lucky to have found the one! Yes your marriage is the ultimate prize! But you totally deserve to feel bummed out and be upset about things.
My grandmother had a disappointing wedding day (due to her parent's disapproval, she eloped and never got to truly celebrate), but such an amazing marriage. She has really been my rock through all this. I'm looking forward to the joys of marriage and letting my family and friends encourage and support me.
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Devoted July 2021
Lindsay · on August 31, 2020 at 4:03 PM
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Thank you sooooo much for that!! That really means a lot and I truly wish you nothing but the absolute best may your marriage be filled with nothing but blessings and may this time give us both the strength to know that if we can make it through this we can make it through anything together!🥰♥️
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Feeling a little down

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