Feeling disappointed in moh and "bachelorette party"

Hi AT, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. 😔 I understand you feel hurt and unimportant because your MOH is leaving your party early to prepare for someone else's. You're 100% entitled to your feelings! If anything, you have learned that your expectations for friendship look differently than hers do.


Can you still carry on the night without her? I hope that this doesn't spoil it for you and you can still enjoy your Bach party with your other friends! 💗

Yikes, I was going along with it until I read the 10pm, no drinking, no outfit bit. It rubs me the wrong way that the MOH essentially double-booked her weekend and didn't seem to prioritize your bachelorette. The only thing I can think of is that maybe she's pregnant or has some other news/issues/diagnosis that she doesn't want to draw attention to, so she's blaming the time constraint, no drinking, and lack of outfit (that she presumably prescribed/suggested/mandated) on some other engagement party?? Actually, when I started reading this post, I thought I was gonna end up thinking "oh, well, this may suck, but she has no choice but to be thankful for what's being thrown for her"....but after reading the last-minute restrictions/announcements, I feel another way entirely. I am sorry you feel like an afterthought. I would feel the same way in your situation. And I'm also sorry that your bridal party has only given you empty offers of assistance - that has to add to the let-down.

I saw the first reply after posting mine, and I totally second the suggestion to continue the party after the MOH leaves...I think if I were in your situation, I would probably text the attendees and say something like "please consider coming to my house to continue the party tomorrow night! Wine awaits!" or something. That way, your MOH is throwing the "main" party itself, and you can continue the party at your place and blast some 90s tunes!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd totally be annoyed with my MoH too if I were you. Why can't you have alcohol at the hotpot though? Maybe I'm not following but just because your MoH can't drink, doesn't mean you or the other girls can't? I'd also just continue on with the other girls without MoH and enjoy the time with your other friends.

She put effort in by planning a dinner, karaoke and bar hopping after. Maybe it wasn’t possible for her to figure out your 90s request and this was the best she could do. As far as not drinking, that’s her choice and she could be not drinking for any variety of reasons it’s not your place to judge or be angry for her to not want to drink? I would appreciate that someone did make an effort to plan *something* for you that at least 1 other person wants to attend.

Also is it possible that she had planned Spice Girls music at a karaoke for you guys to sing and dance along?

So the plaid has me thinking more brittney, but I agree with the others that it sounds like this could be close-ish to what you want if you go in with a good attitude. It’s terrible that your moh is ditching you early. I think it’s fair to be upset about that.


But I agree with the others that just because she’s not drinking doesn’t mean that you can’t! (And I also agree that whenever one of my friends say ahead of time they can’t drink -and they usually do- I assume they’re maybe pregnant—totally legit excuse and it’s none of my business if they’re pregnant). I’d say if she has to leave at 10, you and your friends keep going—bar hopping doesn’t have to stop just because one person leaves.

What exactly does "90's spice girls music video montage sort of event" mean? I'm also confused as to why your MOH's plan to not drink affects you in any way. Enjoy your time with her and then go bar hoping with everyone else. There's no reason why your night has to end at 10.

I understand why you are disappointed, but since the party hasn't actually happened yet, you can decide to still enjoy yourself. Give yourself the gift of going with an open mind and party spirit. And I agree with everyone else that a friend's decision to not drink and to leave early should have no affect on YOUR choices at your own party. Have fun!

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All of your responses are incredibly helpful and certainly put things into perspective! I think I am lumping together my feelings about MOH leaving early for another wedding thing and her not drinking, when in reality I am totally fine if she doesn't drink and its frankly none of my business.

But what was most helpful, and said so beautifully by Maggie (thank you!) is this sentiment: "Give yourself the gift of going with an open mind and party spirit." I think I would be denying myself an absolutely lovely time with my friends who did stick with me, which isn't fair to anyone.

So I will put on that plaid, sing my heart out, and then bar hop till I can hop no more. Thank you all for your advise!

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Yeeesssss! Good on you for taking this good advice to heart.

I agree with others that you should still party late just have to do it at another location. And it's her choice to not drink but if you guys want to you should. It's ok that she isn't going to party all night, yes it sucks because she double booked herself. But I see it the same as any other excuse to not be able to stay out late or drink at someone elses party, they don't need to be their the whole night. Plus you should be happy that she at least planned that much and she is showing up some other brides on here don't even get that much from their bridesmaids. I wouldn't let this ruin your night, go have fun and try not to think about the negative just the positive.

There's no reason the party has to end when your MOH leaves.

Do what she planned, then after she leaves, do what you want to go do. Have a blast and enjoy your night.