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Super October 2021

Feeling guilty about minimony

Kevin, on October 2, 2020 at 2:35 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 7

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So we postponed our wedding from this October to next October because of covid. We still want to get married and logistically it makes more sense to do it now then wait for health insurance and wanting to buy a house soon. Our officiant is a very close family friend and it was important to us to have him marry us rather than going to the courthouse. So we planned a minimony which started small and grew to a still small 30 people of just Immediate family and wedding party. We are having it at the same venue for pictures and sentimental reasons but I feel guilty for having something. We are spending more on it then we wanted to and we are still doing our wedding next year anyway, but so many people are making comments that we are having two weddings and that it’s ridiculous and why couldn’t just one do. And I already don’t want to spend money on it but i still want it to be nice so I’m in this guilt trip dilemma and I’m not sure how I feel about it or how to combat feeling guilty and upset about having our small ceremony.

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Latest activity by Kristen, on October 2, 2020 at 6:02 PM

Master October 2020
Yasmine · on October 2, 2020 at 3:28 PM
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My fiancé and I are doing the same exact thing. Our minimony is next week and we are expecting 30-35 people and our big wedding is in March.

Just like you we spent a good amount on the minimony as well but we definitely wanted it to be nice also so that's not a problem for us. I think most of our family and friends are excited that we are having 2 different weddings.
I'm sure some people will be a little upset about not being invited to the minimony but oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️. We don't feel guilty about having 2 weddings we are very excited!
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August 2020
JM Sunshine · on October 2, 2020 at 4:07 PM
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Are you expecting the same 30 people to show up at the same venue at the same time next year to watch (or be a participant) in a repeat wedding? If so, then the comments are valid. However, if you are having your wedding now but your reception next year when hopefully more people can attend (with maybe a quick vow renewal) then that is understandable and that seems to be what so many brides are doing.
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Super October 2021
Kevin · on October 2, 2020 at 4:18 PM
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We are just doing ceremony and cake and punch this year and then full vow renewal and reception with dinner next year. Next year will be 180 people. The only people making comments are ones who aren’t invited this year so idk if they are upset they didn’t get an invite. And some extended family who didn’t have big weddings so they are already judgy we are having a big wedding to begin with.
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Super June 2021
Blair · on October 2, 2020 at 4:28 PM
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I decided to do a minimony as well, but we're not having a ceremony next year. We're just going to have the reception.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on October 2, 2020 at 4:42 PM
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So I can see all sides of the comments here but I will say ultimately you and your fiance need to do what you want what's best for you. However if you're basically kind of having the small wedding and reception then as someone else said yeah inviting people to two weddings I can kind of see them making those comments. You shouldn't feel guilty and ultimately you two need to do what's best for you although I will say this I know people that get married and then have a vowel renewal which is basically the same thing so you could do that but just be aware that maybe some of people that went to the first ceremony won't go to the second.
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Super October 2021
Kevin · on October 2, 2020 at 4:44 PM
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The only ones coming to the first are our wedding party, siblings parents and grandparents. So I would hope they still come next year. The people who aren’t invited are the ones making comments and I’m not good about taking criticism and am just hurt that they think we are so selfish
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on October 2, 2020 at 6:02 PM
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Welcome to weddings lol. I am sorry to joke but honestly people are going to have opinions but sadly some people feel the need to voice it. Listen this is a crazy time and some people do not get that couples do not want to wait and that is okay. Ignore them and if they love you they will come and if they do not oh well.
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Feeling guilty about minimony

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