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Feeling hurt looking for advice

Katherine, on January 10, 2022 at 1:16 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7
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I have been friends with someone since the 3rd grade. I was recently married and she was in my wedding along with my sister. She got engaged shortly after and now my friend has excluded me from her wedding party but had my older sister who has not been a part of her life that long. My sister and her did not tell me and I found out on social media. I was devasted and heartbroken. It made me physically ill. In addition to that we spoke not long before the social media announcement where she asked me for things I had left over from my wedding. Should I say something?

7 Comments

Latest activity by Hannah, on January 10, 2022 at 10:35 PM
  • Hannah
    Dedicated October 2021
    Hannah ·
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    I would just have an honest conversation with her on the phone or in person about why you weren't included as a member of her bridal party. There might be a reason? I'm not sure, and none of us will know so your best bet is to talk with her if you still care about the relationship.

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I actually wouldn't ask her about it at all. It's totally valid to feel hurt and disappointed that she didn't ask you, but it's also her wedding and she isn't obligated to include anyone in her wedding party, even if she was in their wedding. Definitely take the time to process your emotions about this, and then try to move past it and be as supportive of your friend as possible!
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I wouldn't ask either.

    i think it's kind of valid when people have bridal parties and it may not include you for whatever reasons they have.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Ugh that really sucks. I wouldn’t say anything but I would re-evaluate that friendship ad not devote a lot of time to it.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    This will probably end up in defensiveness.
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  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
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    This. Maybe being in your wedding party with your sister really bonded them and now they feel really close, closer than they do to you. She doesn’t “owe” you being in her wedding just because she was in yours but of course it’s okay to feel hurt—and if you’d like to reevaluate that maybe you’re not as close as you thought you were and distance accordingly, that’s fine too.
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  • Hannah
    Dedicated October 2021
    Hannah ·
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    I was just thinking maybe she had an actual reason for leaving her out. I feel like it's always better to ask than assume, but I guess that is an unpopular opinion.

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