Feeling like a crazy person!

Girl, this is my exact story! I never dreamed of getting married or having a wedding, and until I met my fiancé I was team “single for life”! Just remember, wedding planning can be stressful even for those girls who do grow up dreaming of their weddings. So take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. And also remember that this event is about you and your fiancé’s love and commitment to eachother - it’s not about flowers and color palettes and table linens. And as much as we want to think everyone is paying attention to all those little details we carefully planned and agonized over… they aren’t. Guests don’t care. The only thing they care about is watching you get married and having good food & booze. So don’t put so much stress on yourself! All your decisions should be what you like and what you want. So just think about what is truly important for you to have. Set your overall budget and then break it down into budgets for each vendor or item you want. Then just take on one task at a time - don’t overwhelm yourself with every detail at once. For example, decide how big you want your wedding to be, and create your guest list. Then move on to the next task-find a venue that can accommodate the number of guests you want (take lots of pictures of each place you tour!) Once you decide on a venue, look at the pics you took during your tour and decide what colors will look best in your space. You can look at the venue’s social media pages to see how former couples decorated the space and see if any of them inspire you. You can also look at pics on Pinterest and Instagram - look for venues similar to yours as they will give you the best idea of what will work in your space. There is no “right” of “wrong” color palette choice- it is just what you like! So if you see something that immediately catches your eye, save it! Once you decide on color palette, move on to the next thing. Don’t look ahead and don’t look behind. Focus on your task at hand, then cross it off the list when it’s done. Don’t go back and analyze things once they have been decided. As long as you pick things you love, your wedding will be perfect 💕

What about hiring a planner, or search for “all inclusive wedding venues” in your location?

Girl YOU ARENT ALONE. I have generalized anxiety and really bad social anxiety despite appearing calm and collected in front of others. I spent 2 hours obsessing over place cards. I worry about every little thing and cant help playing movies in my head. I wish I had good advice for you. Im trying to remember that this day will come and go and what this wedding means to me and my fiance.

View Quoted Comment I’ve thought about a planner, but part of my stress is how we’re even going to afford everything else in the first place so then I would feel guilty about hiring someone

View Quoted Comment Yes! All of that. I feel it. Then I feel guilty because I know this all supposed to be fun and happy but I don’t feel any of that yet lol every day it crosses my mind to just cancel the whole damn thing. But then I know the day of and after it all I will be happy I did it, at least that’s what I keep telling myself 😂

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! ❤️😭

Can you make it a very small wedding with just family and very close friends. Only those people who you feel most comfortable with and who you know won't judge you and will support you in any decisions you make? That way you might not be so stressed about choosing things knowing it will only be a very small wedding. Also, is your fiance able to help you with planning things and help take some of the stress away?

View Quoted Comment I’d look at all-inclusive venues! They can include a lot of things for you. That should help.

Simplify! Have some good discussions with your future spouse about the things you both DO want, and then set aside the rest. Remembering that all that is required is a couple, an officiant, and a license, start there, and only add the components you both want. Then make a to do list and divvy up the jobs. You two can do this!

I feel the exact same way! I don’t like attention and have social anxiety but still want a wedding (would regret it if I didn’t). But I hate making decisions and am so overwhelmed and stressed over each one. And I was never one that had my whole wedding dreamed up since I was little.


For me personally, I had made a super detailed to do list and then broke it down into as little of steps as I could so it didn’t seem as daunting as one big task. I think it’s so easy to obsess over every little detail but when you really think about it, most people aren’t going to notice if it’s not perfect. And it’s totally okay to not enjoy the process (I certainly haven’t). Wedding planning isn’t for everyone and you aren’t alone.

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I would start looking at pinterest, just spend a couple hours pinning items you like. Then take a step back and look at the whole picture. What colors are you mostly pinning, what kind of theme do you like. I'd start off making a budget of how much you think you can spend, then from there start breaking things down. Someone in my community has a barn, so I am hoping that helps save me a little money by being a cheaper venue, I can bring in any food i want and do part of it myself, I am making my own desserts and appetizers, I am going with sola wood flowers, so I might be able to sell them after the wedding if I don't decide to keep them. My biggest expense in the budget is for a photographer that I like (its $4,000!!!) and I am even rethinking that.

I hope any of that helps. Trust me I am in the same boat, I have spent hours on just nonsense, but that is also how my mind works...

I was the same. I was never that little girl who dreamed of the day she got married. So when I had to start planning it was overwhelming. Start with the things that stress you out the most, for example, the size of your wedding. You don't want to have a panic attack on this very special day, so plan the kind of day that will make you comfortable. Once you figure that out, the rest should fall into place.

Hello,

I was not one of those girls either. When I got engaged and started the wedding planning process, a lot of people were surprised I didn't have my whole wedding planned on Pinterest. (apparently this is something all women should be doing?) Well, I missed the memo on that one. Anyway, I will say that once you get the big decisions out of the way it gets a lot easier. Yes it is a stressful process. Tears are often involved, but it does get easier. You just have to try to focus on what's important to you.

Same here. Now with all of that past us, and having skimmed your replies throughout the thread, I suggest narrowing each category down to three options or ideas, then decide from the three finalists, THEN check out Pinterest for inspiration to enhance the decision you've made. Otherwise, every decision can feel like you're ordering from the Cheesecake Factory's neverending menu (& Pinterest can feel like a vortex).

Begin by setting your budget, then deciding what your top 2-3 priorities are, then your lowest priorities. As an example, we omitted all flowers because we decided to marry at a park under an arbor. Buying flowers when we were going to be surrounded by nature didn't fit our style and saved us money. Use the process of elimination to your advantage. You might not have ever considered what you would want because you never saw yourself marrying someone. However, you DO know yourself and your SO well enough to know what wouldn't fit your style, personalities, values and budget. Adopting the mantra "perfection is the enemy of good" helps too because at some point, you WILL have to trust your decisions and move forward.

I hear you about worrying how to set your budget and work within that. Life will continue to happen . Give yourself more time to make decisions so you can 1) rest and recharge, 2) factor in new ideas and advice and 3) adjust your planning and shift gears accordingly. Instead of one item per night, maybe 1-2 decisions every 1 - 1.5 weeks.

If you decide a day-of coordinator isn't in your budget either, think about asking a friend who has worked in hospitality to be your sounding board through the planning process. It will all be okay.