Feeling odd - Mom issues - a bit lengthy

Did she act this way when you were planning your first wedding? If the answer is yes, then I wouldn't expect her to be excited about this wedding. If the answer is no, maybe she's hurt you did include her in picking out your dress. She could've been hoping you'd include her even if that meant just sending her links to get her opinion.

I totally understand your disappointment! I've been excited to share parts of my wedding planning with my mom, grandma and MIL (who were all very excited when we got engaged) and it seems like now all of their excitement is conditional on whether they feel they're getting to be involved enough. My mom and grandma came to my dress appointment and both had sour moods the whole time, even when I found the dress I loved, because they weren't dresses they would have picked. It made me second guess myself until I looked at it alone the next day and realized how truly happy I was in it. My MIL hasn't been excited about anything unless she gets to be directly involved, which I haven't been including her in everything because she'll make things up to get her way and she really hasn't treated me well the last 5 years.

What I have been doing, and my advice to you, is to find one or two people that you can be excited with. My MOH has been very supportive and my FH will let me word vomit about wedding plans once or twice a week. It's not silly of you to feel down when you someone you want to help lift you up is bringing you down. Posting on here has also helped me find some support when I'm super stoked about something and I don't really have anyone to share with. I can talk to my MOH, but I don't want to overwhelm her with wedding stuff all the time because that's not fair to her. Hang in there and don't be afraid to just be excited for yourself! I'm so glad you were able to find a new partner who appreciates you!

I honestly think you are reading too much into it. Weddings, dresses, etc. just might not be her thing. I think every bride pictures their mom being heavily involved or interested in wedding planning, but unless she has made specific comments that she doesn't approve, hurtful remarks, etc., I would just chalk it up to she's not that interested, and that's ok. Definitely don't let her lack of interest impact how YOU feel about your dress. Don't let it get you down! Maybe ask her directly if there's any part of the wedding or planning that she wants to be involved in; if not, let it go and don't take it personally.

This may sound trite, but I promise this has worked for me and my relationship with my mom: practice lowering your expectations and just accepting her for who she is. I am not saying this is easy, but it really has helped me feel better about the millions of times my mom has disappointed me over my life and I can actually now enjoy limited amounts of time with her.

I don't expect her to be interested in anything I say or do and I just keep topics superficial and pleasant. If we get into deep waters and my feelings get hurt, I just change the subject to something I know she can rattle on about (usually my brother who she loves best), and then I tune out/go to my happy place in my mind. My mom is thoughtless and cold and completely devoid of empathy. But I can't change her, so I let her be her and I protect myself.