Feeling very anxious about bridal shower

Wedding planning is stressful especially when there is family problems. But this is the time to just relax and breath. I think you should just show up and try to enjoy yourself because it’s not about the gifts on your wedding registry... that’s not why you are getting married or having a bridal shower, it’s so people can celebrate you, so don’t stress and let it be.

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I'm really not concerned about the gifts, maybe I worded that wrong. I didn't want a registry at all, we really struggled with what to put on it because we have lived together for so long. I would rather have 20 people show up empty handed than have no one show. I am struggling with how to deal with the sadness that will inevitably come as I look around the room and see how few people I have left in my life. I don't want it to show on my face, and I need help coming up with ways to see this in a more positive light. Does that make any sense?

Stacey,
I was also super stressed about my shower and was very pleasantly surprised by it. When it came down to it, it didn't matter if people got me the things off my list or not. My favorite gift was one no one purchased. It was a plant in a bucket with a rock. My aunt wanted me to have a piece of my heritage and a piece of home to take with me to my new home. The plant was a part of a lilac bush that went back in my family tree several hundred years. And the rock was a reminder of where I came from, an encouragement to start with a good foundation and a reminder of who my rock really is. I was so touched by the gift that I broke down and cried. I also received a lot of beautiful handmade gifts.

My fiance was able to attend and having him there to support me, meant so much to me. The day reminded me off how much I was loved and supported and I felt more gratitude about it than anxiety. Don't look at it as a reminder of whe
at isn't there because you will always find something lacking. However, if you look for the love that is there, you will find that and feel more fulfilled. Also, it helped me to help make the day about others by thanking each one for being a part of my life and for helping me to become the person that I am. Good luck. I hope this helps.
Melissa

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Thank you, it does help. Can I ask why you were anxious about your shower? That sounds like a beautiful gift, I definitely would have cried too! I am trying hard not to focus on who is not there and focus instead on who is, it's just tough. We've had a rough couple of years with my health issues and FH lost his brother suddenly...those types of events really show you who your true friends are, and unfortunately there aren't many left.

My advice is to focus on loved you are by the people throwing you the shower and those who attend. Loved ones are really more about quality than quantity anyway. I'd rather have 3 genuine and loving friendships than 30 superficial ones.

Also, I think what you're saying about your registry is that you're using it to try figure out how many people are coming, right? I think checking that will just give you more anxiety, I would advise you stay off the registry until the shower. If you are really wondering who will be there, asking those hosting the shower. Using the registry as a guide will just throw you off because people may be waiting until this weekend to purchase a gift and some may buy something else. I could tell you weren't saying that because you're just in it for the gifts - if you were you wouldn't have tried to refuse the shower in the first place.

All in all, just try to focus on the love that you'll have there. If possible, it would probably help calm you if FS could join you for at least part of the shower.

Stop stressing. It will be a wonderful party regardless of how many people come. Some of us would be over the moon to have someone love us so much they wanted to throw us a shower. The shower isn't tomorrow. Don't base tour expectations off of registry purchases

I was really nervous and kind of dreading my bridal shower too. But it turned out to be awesome! It was small but it was so meaningful that the people that did come came. I think you should focus on how much of a blessing it is that people want to throw you a shower and celebrate you. Even if it’s just a few people.

Also the majority of the gifts I received for my bridal shower were purchased the day before

Stop looking at your registry.

View Quoted Comment I agree even though you registered for it looking at your registry will stress you out even more. If you don't get it at your shower you also have a chance of it being brought to the wedding.

Some people still give gifts after the shower. You can receive them at the wedding & tbh may still receive gifts after you get married..just try to relax.

I had a ton of. Anxiety over my shower and my bachelorette party. I feel so uncomfortable having a bunch of people do things for me. It makes me feel guilty and makes me just wanna do a bunch of things for them. I was also stressed about people possibly not coming. Did whoever threw you a shower ask for an rsvp at all? Then they may know who is planning to attend? My advice without knowing that answer is to 1. Not take it too personally if someone can't make it. I struggle with taking things Too personally in life. Most people don't know I do bc I keep it inside but this is hard for me so has been extra hard for me through the wedding process. But I try to Remember the showers or random events I havent been able to make it to and the reason was never that I didn't want to go. Most. People genuinely can't make something like that. 2. Mine flew by! I feel like I blinked and it was over! 3. Do your best to stay positive and appreciate all of those who do come! They're. Celebrating you. Showers are usually not the most fun for guests no matter what people do and they still came to celebrate you! Focus on all of the positive. I hope it goes well!

I am sorry that you are not more excited for the celebration. It is disappointing when it seems like the people we love do not listen to us. I am sure that even if you just play a few silly games with your mother, future mother, and bridal party, it will be a great opportunity to make memories! I hope your shower goes better than anything in your wildest imagination! Best of luck!

I'm sorry that you and your FH have suffered so much loss. It certainly can put a damper on things.
The only thing I can suggest is to try to focus on who is here with you now. Try to take comfort in them.
My words sound so weak. Hopefully you will understand my attempt.
I hope you enjoy your bridal shower and that your health improves! ❤️ ❤️
Stay strong and have faith! ~j~

I totally understand your concern. Number one, stop looking at your registry. People could be buying items not on the registry, or some items could still be showing up as unlurchased because of some kind of glitch. All you can truly do is be happy and grateful for those that do attend. Even if it’s just you, mom, MOH, and BM, you’re still celebrating with the women that are closest to you. Generally what I do at social gatherings, which always make me anxious, is designate someone as “my person” for the event. I will basically force them to get me out of any uncomfortable situations and look to them for reassurance whenever I need it. Perhaps MOH could do that for you. Also see if your FS can make an appearance. That may bring you more comfort than you realize.

Hi Stacey! I don't have any advice - but wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm in the **EXACT** same boat - shower is also this Saturday. Will be thinking of you! Hope you have a nice time.

My shower is Saturday too and I’m also dreading it. My mom forced it on me even though I told her I didn’t want one. I told her if she’s gonna do it anyway then I want it no earlier than 2, I don’t want any games, and I’m not dressing up. It’s at noon, I’m wearing a very uncomfortable dress, and we’re playing games. Can’t wait for it to be over!

My shower is also Saturday. I am super anxious. It is being thrown by my fmil and 3 fsils. My mom has wanted nothing to do with wedding planning and I have no idea why. I also didn't want a shower or a registry. My FMIL offered and I just couldn't tell her no. She was super sweet about asking and I almost cried when she did. One of my FSIL took me shopping a couple weeks ago for a outfit and everything. I know there won't be a lot of people there b/c I didn't invite a lot. Two of the people I did invite were quite rude when they declined. (one is the wife of a groomsman/friend of fh) so that caused some unwanted drama. I will be super happy when it is over. The plus side to our registry is that after the wedding, whatever is not purchased we get 15% off of those items. Good luck on Saturday. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

My registry was not very full in the purchased department (I couldn't help but look lol!) but 38 of our 39 guests ended up showing up, and a lot of people had bought off-registry, and the ones who didn't, for some reason, BB&B's registry STILL hasn't shown that the items they purchased were bought. A lot of people look at the registry, go in store, and buy it. If they don't mention it's for a registry, it doesn't mark that it has been purchased. So I'm sure lots of people will be there, and you'll enjoy the day if you focus on the love!

I never DREADED my shower, but I was pleasantly surprised by the love I felt on that day. Just take a deep breath and focus on the positive aspects of it, it'll be okay!

Please don't stress! I felt the same way about mine and it was such a fun day! My mom hosted my bridal shower so I was rather involved in the planning which I didn't mind. I also watched my registry like a hawk because I feared it wasn't working after my SIL said she only saw 3 things listed. So naturally I panicked. I think it was more about "how many people are even going to show up?" versus "what gifts have been purchased?" Turns out a lot of people do buy last minute or buy things not on the registry. We also got a lot of gift cards and some cash, so some people go that route too.

Anyway, the day ended up turning out perfect and it felt so nice to have everyone, who wanted to be there, come and enjoy the day with us. I was shocked at the amount of love and warm wishes we got that day. Please enjoy the day! I know it can be nerve wrecking, but don't dread it. Your Mom, MOH and BM are throwing you a bridal shower because they love you and want you to have a special day. Everything will be okay!

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Yes, I was using it to keep track, not because I want gifts! lol. I took your advice and stopped looking and FH will be joining me for the first 1/2 hour or so. I am still nervous, but I feel better, thank you!