Feeling weird about not being home anymore

As long as you and your fh communicate and are understanding about the big change it's going to be for you then I'm sure you'll adjust well. It'll be exciting and new but you're moving forward in your life and that's good. Don't listen to people trying to freak you out! Everyone has different experiences.

For me when I moved out on my own it was an adjustment, but definitely not a huge deal as my parents prepared me to be an adult and live on my own. When FH and I moved in together it was a little more tough because of figuring out who pays for what etc. I think you definitely have some huge hurtles in front of you. Maybe seek counseling to help you mentally throughout the process? It sounds like you are taking on a lot all at once best of luck to you

I moved out at 18 but I was still dependent on my parents financially for a couple years.

You'll be okay! For me personally, after I was out and doing things on my own it was such a huge relief to not be dependent on them anymore. You get to make your own choices that they get no say in. I still call my parents for advice and help if I need it. They're always willing to help me financially if need be but it's so nice to not need it!

Figure out your budget and responsibilities and you'll be just fine. It's definitely a weird feeling to be away from them at first but after awhile it's a great feeling. Figuring out how to be an adult is hard at first, it took me about a year to get my life figured out after I was independent so it won't be something that happens over night. You can do it!

Yeah, FH and I both moved away from home for college and met here, then moved in together here. My mother made me swear to never get married without living independently for at least a year lol

Its is a cultural thing. I know Jamaican families are like this but you are in for a big awakening. You need to speak to a therapist and find your own identity outside of being a daughter and now wife and mom. I have an odd feeling if your husband is the dominant one you'll ending up "doing chores" and behaving like a daughter in your marriage INSTEAD of a wife!

It will definitely be different. I lived on my own for several years, before even moving in with FH. That's going to be A LOT at once, especially adding in the kid piece. Best of luck to you....

I lived at home through college and until I was 24 when I moved out with FH.

Just because I was living with my family doesn't mean I was dependent on my parents. I did my own grocery shopping, paid my own bills, owned my own car, did my own laundry and cleaning, and cooked for myself. It was a smooth transition for me to not living with them (except it was much quieter). I was 24. I wasn't answering to my parents and they didn't have "rules" for me.

I moved in with FH after dating him for about 1 1/2 years. At first it was super hard and I felt like I should've been home with my family. But as time went on the transition felt natural. I still talk to both of my parents and younger brother daily. We're just as close as we were then. I have just graduated from being dependent on them to being able to take care of myself and FH. My mom and I go food shopping together and talk about the dinners we cooked and cleaning the house. We bond over "adult" things now. We still doing weekend getaways so not much has changed except I've grown as a person and my role has changed. I'm still parent's daughter. You'll be okay. It might take a little adjusting, but you will see how fulfilling your life will be. Good luck!

I've been on my own since I was 17. Yes it is an adjustment but it is a good feeling to become independent and become your own person and make your own set of rules!

I also agree with counseling.. it's going to be hard to adjust to living with someone. Especially taking on the responsibility of raising a child. I can't relate to you but I know my FH could. I already had 2 children before I lived with FH. We have been living together for 4 years already and are just getting married. We are so glad we lived together before we got married. The first year was hard. Especially because someone else had a say with my kids. Took awhile to adjust to that. It was hard for FH too. He wasn't used to being a dad, but he was very patient. Now he loves being a dad and is great with my kids. It took time though.

My husband and I had dinner at my parent's house soon after our honeymoon. As we were getting up to leave, I was saying to them," night Mom and Dad. I'll be home around .... wait! I'm not coming home tonight!" We all laughed and then stood there in silence for a second. I got so embarrassed because my parents have never seen me leave for the night with a guy before!!! Ahaha!!!!

Very awkward but that's what life is about. Moving forward. Growing up. Making your own life. Give yourself time. Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

@futuremrswhite I'm sure this will be a huge transition for you and I understand why you're nervous - it's a lot of change at once. But just because you're not living at home anymore doesn't mean you won't still be close to your parents. Did your mom do something similar (live at home until marriage then move in with her spouse)? I'd ask her for advice, things she wish she knew, etc. Or if you have any siblings who got married and moved out I'd ask them how they adapted. Living with someone is difficult so I hope you guys are able to hash out expectations when it comes to who is taking care of what. Be careful about assuming that your husband will be doing x because that's how your parents' marriage works. I think we tend to assume our relationships will be like the relationships we've seen in our lives and that's not always the case. Those little assumptions can cause rifts, so be mindful of why each of you think/assume your relationship will look a certain way.

Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't wait to leave my parents' house after college. I had a great childhood with loving parents, but as soon as I hit 20/21 I was ready to be on my own. I started a full time job and my Master's program at age 21 but didn't make enough money to move out until I was 23. Those two years were really tough with three adults all living in the same house.

I am an incredibly independent person. I hate accepting help from people so it was a blow to my self-esteem to look/act like an adult without having the financial means to support myself.

Note to those just graduating from college: jobs that pay commission blow. Especially when the base salary is right around the poverty line.

Welp...this is 2017 and no one told you that you HAD to live under some antiquated cultural COUGH*bullshit*COUGH rules.

FH's family is Jamaican. His sister is much older and moved out on her own before ever getting into a relationship. It's called being an adult, having her own mind, and not doing what her parents wanted her to do because it's "what is done in our culture" It's called being independent. I'm also of West Indian descent, and my family raised me to take care of myself. Your parents haven't done you any favors by keeping you under their wings.

You're in marriage counseling? Great. What you also need is some individual counseling. Like, now.

Yes it will be a big adjustment, but an exciting one at that!! I commend you for living at home till now. Just because so many other women moved out early doesn't make them any more prepared for married life than you are. I imagine you have a strong sense of family and given your commitment to counseling and preparing for your new home, you are more than ready. Keep those lines of communication with FH and your new son. Enjoy this time in your lives!!

OP - don't worry. A friend of mine dated her now husband for 7 years before they got married. Never lived together until after marriage and they turned out to be fine. I know everyone's situation is different, but i would not be negative/ scared about it. My fiancé and i have been together almost 6 years and we never lived together, either. We are actually moving in together in a few weeks. It can be scary, but exciting at the same time. Oh, and i forgot to mention, that i still live with my parents, so yeah, don't worry!

ETA- another thing i forgot to mention is that a friend of mine i mentioned previously lived with her parents until she got married, too!

No need to put down OP parents or assume she's not a well adjusted human being. People live at home for all sorts of reasons- I think "life shattering" is a bit hyperbolic. I've lived on my own for over a decade but I still think it's bittersweet that I will no longer be a part of my original family unit in the same way as before.

Embrace this as an awesome change! Don't be scared. Be confident in yourself, your relationship with FH, and everything you've learned growing up. Don't be afraid to ask questions and admit you don't have all the answers (no one does)! Communication is key. Communicate with FH about your feelings, talk with your families when you're unsure about things, and just live it up! This is an exciting change. Put a smile on your face and celebrate! Prepare yourself in knowing you will have BAD days, but you will overcome them! I'm happy for you!

You'll be okay, OP! It will take some adjusting, and it may be pretty tough at first, but I'll echo others and say that communication is key.

Iyla, thanks so much!