Feelings hurt by friend - move on or how to handle it?

View Quoted Comment I don't take not being invited to an event personal. I could care less either way. To me it really isn't a big deal.

View Quoted Comment You might not have but I certainly took offense to it in the circumstances.
Some of you may think it is rude for me to call her out for poor behaviour because it might upset her but perhaps she should have avoided doing something that upsets me and causes me to be call her out. Thanks for your input.

View Quoted Comment I wouldn’t have dwelled on it so much had she maybe had some decency to at least own her actions or give me some white lie, but to dismiss my feelings, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back!
I think you’re right, for now I’m going to linger in the background and let her come to me if she wants to see me or speak to me. I’ve always pulled my weight in this friendship and it’s become obvious to me that it’s gone unnoticed and not reciprocated.

I would just leave it alone, especially if this is the only time that it happened. I don't think it was rude at all for you to mention it to her though. If its your friend, you should be able to say how you feel about situations to them. I still would invite him to the wedding though especially if you value your friendship with Dina. Maybe invite both of them out with you and your partner?

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THIS! People have grown too comfortable in zipping their lips and dismissing their own feelings for fear that speaking out about them would offend someone. I see absolutely no issue with you approaching this matter as I would have been hurt too!

Sometimes, you're not going to be invited to things. I think you just need to get over it. I don't have tips to how, it shouldn't be that hard. It was a party. You weren't there. Oh well.

View Quoted Comment EXACTLY! I have a friend who has completely ignored every request to talk things out bc she’s “uncomfortable” with the uncomfortable and just wanted to be cool and bury it. We’ve been friends for 12 years, it’s okay to talk and move past things properly. And what happened next? She threw it all in my face at a later date, throwing me a curveball when I thought we were cool because that’s what she originally wanted. Unreal how things get handled by people.

View Quoted Comment It’s definitely nothing that would stop me from inviting them to my wedding or ending the wedding, I think it’s just something that has me reflecting on this friendship.

View Quoted Comment Oh for sure, I can totally respect that, but when it is everyone but me, that raises my eyebrows. Her loss.

"I feel like Dina’s response tipped me over the edge because rather than own what happened or at least say something reassuring (i.e. “haha definitely won’t happen again, don’t worry) she dismissed my feelings. I don’t think it is worth ending a friendship over but I’m not really sure how to act right now.". **** As far as I can see she did not own up to anything because she did nothing wrong, and you were acting as if she did. ...I believe in speaking up too, when it needs doing. But here I would find you way over the line of what is acceptable. Just because your friend has a party, or 2 or 3, where she invites many others you know, that does not mean she should have invited you. This was not ( from what you said,) a formal event, or seated dinner when couples must all be invited, which is the only time inviting br couples is required. At all other times, people are free to mix and match. Had your FI protested, before the event, requesting your presence, either the hostess would have changed her mind, or your SO decided to go alone, or your SO gone anyway. But this does not apply to " the rest of our circle.". We entertain a lot, and in an area of small towns, groups form and re-form, including new members, losing those who move or move on. But house and dining room and bathroom # are fixed things. One hostess may have more space than another. And in order to add 1-4 on a particular occasion, will form a party list without some regulars. This is no slight on those not on the list. And if that friend actually questioned the hostess' making up a party list without them, sometimes, the response would likely be, I can leave you out of every party if I choose. It is arrogant of you to decide that because I have some of your friends, I ought to invite you. ... You are putting yourself in the position of those usually not favored here, the potential guest insisting, If my friends are invited, you must invite me, to every party. No. Does not work that way. When one of us, FI then hubby, want to have some of one usual grouping, whom I am closest to , and he wants some others, some usual grouping does not happen. For that evening, it becomes maybe 16 regulars and 4 not. And that is perfectly fine. Next party, a slightly new assortment, including friends not included in recent previous parties ( though not exactly 1 for 1). But anyone who would " call me out" over not being on a particular, party list, I would remind, that any time she throws the party, she chooses the guest list. And when I give the party, I do. She may decline when I do ask, which may be often, but may not push herself on to future lists by calling out hostesses who do not include her in a particular party. You are not Queen of your circle, and have no RIGHTS except to make guest lists for your parties, and decline other invitations as you choose.

I'm late to the game, but I don't think you were in the wrong OP. I have a very similar up front personality, and if a group I'm regularly a part of got everyone together and then specifically excluded me I'd be super hurt. And then for them to brush it off as 'Ok drama queen' would be a nail in the coffin for me.

It's not that I'd immediately end the friendship and refuse to invite them to the wedding, but I would reevaluate and not put as much effort into the friendship from that point forward.

Regardless of this event being over at her partner's house, if she's already inviting all of her other friends it's basically a deliberate snub to look over you, especially with you inviting them both to your wedding.

This whole situation stinks, and while I would say you have to move forward, you don't have to forget it. It's no longer on you to maintain the friendship, Dina clearly doesn't value it as much as you do, so if she wants to stay friends I'd wait and see how long it is before she contacts you about something for you and not something for her.

That's how I finally decided to end my longest running friendship. I realized she would only get in contact when she needed to talk about her life, if I reached out to her it was always also all about her. Reflect on the friendship and decide if it's worth maintaining after the wedding.

Good friendship is always on your life path, friends influence at your ideology, your growing and mistakes. I guess friendship is not lifelong friends, if this someone isn't sincere. You can be just in a convivial atmosphere with your childhood friend, but don't feel such friend or best friends. You can have reflections about that you don't love your friend anymore. There are several radically different types of friendships. And I think worst of type is when my friends don't care about me - situation described on https://calmerry.com/blog/general/i-love-my-friends-but-it-feels-like-they-dont-care/ this article. Similar friendship can be toxic and fake. When people - "friends" are using each other. Maybe this situation is true, and similar friendship isn't important for future life. Or you both will stay good familiar. Friendship must be current, true and without hypocrisy.

Meh, I get how you feel. I probably wouldn't have addressed it, because I'm not sure any answer would have made sense to me. I would opt to take the high road, smile and nod at the wedding, and think about putting some distance between you and that couple. I'm not loving the flippant and passive aggressive response you got from her. Sounds kinda toxic. I'm sorry that happened to you, that sucks.

Thank you!