Female at a bachelor party

I went to my best friend's bachelor party, no big deal. We went to dinner and bar hopping, no strippers or anything like that. I was just one of the guys.

If she's such a close friend then why haven't you met her more than 3 times in 4 yrs, weird to me. The double standards is the deal breaker...what's fair for one should be fair for the other.

I'm best friends with a guy. We have matching tattoos. Him and I will never hook up or even think of each other that way...so I think you're overreacting. I do agree with the double standard comment though!

I think I'd be annoyed too with his double standard. Address that first.

Personally I find it odd to invite a girl to a bachelor party - but not bc of trust issues. However, it's not a big deal and I would let it go personally, My issue is his double standard.

@Bo Leigh that's called rape

My FH's best friend is a female. They go out the movies, out to eat. They were roommates at 1 point. I think it would be weird if she didn't go. Not sure why it bothers you. If there is no trust in a relationship..... seek out why. If you had a guy best friend and your FH said no way he can't go- wouldn't you feel hurt?

I was just invited to my bosses bachelor party and a female friend of his is hosting it. I was a little taken back but we live in a different day lol

But honestly I'd feel a little jealous... just because.

Whatever you do (or don't do) please do not stress and make it a big deal, that will only mess stuff up for you.

It's weird.

Why would she want to attend a bachelor party? I have 2 male best friends and I'm "one of the guys" with most of the men I know. I would have zero desire to go to any of their bachelor parties. And if FH told me he could have female friends, but I couldn't have male friends, we'd have a real problem.

I'd just like to point out that jealousy and trusting are not the same thing. Just because you may feel a bit jealous at some point in your relationship does not mean you don't trust your SO. if you were actually worried about them cheating then yeah. But if it's a fleeting moment of jealousy, like I wish I had a body like so and so, really doesn't mean you don't trust your SO.

Ashley P, so op should just breathe and relax and be ok with double standards? If my fiance ever pulled that shit with me I'd be inviting every guy I know to my bachelorette.

I'm with you on this one. I agree that you have to trust him but if he's saying you can't have guy friends? That's a no. I've always been under the thought that guys and girls can't be friends. I know others will disagree but from my experience and things I've witnessed, it's just not possible IMO. Not saying your FH has anything going on with T, it doesn't sound like that at all. I'm sure her going would be fine, but that fact that you, his fiance, doesn't feel comfortable with the idea, should be his priority.

A woman attending would not bother me at all. The double standard would bother me though greatly. As others have said you can be very close to someone and speak to them once or twice per year.

You have a while. Don't worry about it. Work out that double standard stuff. That's seriously not cool and sets you up for a lifetime of awkward.

Hmmm.... the whole double standard thing is wrong. You should work that out asap.

Also, I find it odd that she's such a good friend but you've only met her a few times.

May I ask, why aren't you joining on the trip with him in a couple weeks? Maybe if you go with him and get to know her better it would be a situation you'd be more comfortable with.

But if he gets to invite females, than you should be able to invite males. From my experience when a guy has a double standard like that...there's a reason for it.

OP I think it would make you feel more comfortable as well to spend more time with T and get to know her and get close with her too! And you need to make it clear to FH he is being ridiculously unfair, he cannot control who you see as a friend or who you want at your bachelorette. This is coming from someone whose FH used to have a huge double standard problem when we were younger. I totally know how you feel. I told him he needs to give me the same respect and trust that I give him or its not going to work. We weren't as serious at the time so it wasn't as huge of a move for me to break it off. ETA: why aren't you going on the trip with him to visit T and her fiance?

Why are they planning a bachelor's? party a year in advance? It's not your party, why do you care? Did he have a sexual relationship with this woman in the past? You sound jealous and insecure.

Chivy at least skim the comments. We're past this.

Hmm I was my best male friend's bachelor party. It was a long time ago and sort of last minute (he was being deployed) so I took him out for a few drinks. (The bar found out was getting married the next day though and he maybe had too many). I dunno. My FH and I both have long time best other-sex friends and we tease if something were to ever happen it would have by now (we love them like brothers/sisters but there's something about them that makes them incredibly undesirable from an attraction standpoint) so obvs nothing to worry about. We see our friends about as often as your FH sees her. I'd say if your FH has been friends with her for years like that, it's probably not a big deal.

Agree on the trust and double standard comments. I've dated guys who have both been okay with my best guy friend and that haven't and it has come down to trust/security. It was actually a relief finding out my FH had a similar situation with an opposite sex friend - one of the things we connected over early on, actually (so the double standard thing would piss me off).

Ok, so I agree that the double standard is wrong on his part. However, my FH has a close female friend and I wouldn't mind her being there or any other female. I trust him 100%. You've got to trust him.