fh going to strip club!?

Have a conversation with him about it. He may not be the vehicle driving the strip club party. It may be those who are planning it. Either way, talk to him. Communication will be key to your mareiage.

We are doing combined parties at an amusement park, because neither of us wanted the traditional type of parties. So I thankfully don't have to deal with it.

If you're not comfortable with it, I would be honest with him and discuss it. Is it too late for him and his boys to change plans?

At the end of the day, you're who he is marrying and he should take your concerns and feelings into consideration.

I told FH's guys, explicitly, when he asked them to be groomsmen, NO strip clubs/strippers.

We aren’t doing parties. No time for us before the wedding because of Work and house projects we are trying to finish. But Fh wouldn’t be into going to a strip club anyway because he’s way too shy for all of that. His idea of a party would be the casino or playing video games. Also someone asked me if I’d be ok with a male stripper if they throw a party. My 16 year old sister is my maid of honor, so uh that’s a definite no haha.

My FH went to a strip club in Vegas for a friends bachelor party while I stayed at the hotel. Told me a little about it when I got home. I was no big deal to me. He asked me first if I cared if he went. I just told him not to do anything stupid and I was fine. It was just about communication and expectations.

My FH has already stipulated he does not want a stripper and so have I. We’re just not into those things. I would definitely talk to him about it. Express your concern without coming off as being controlling or bossy.

My FH spoke to all his groomsmen that no stripclubs are allowed. We’re both going to Las Vegas the same week . So at the end we decided to do it together . Everyone was more than happy . Do your own thing . You don’t have to do it the way “it’s always done” . Everyone is exited to be together . His guys my girls are good with our decision . That’s how it should be. Talk to him .

I agree that it's all about communication. He can't know how you feel unless you can convey that to him. If you have, and he's still dead-set on going, that's a little worrisome and may open up a new conversation entirely.

Your relationship should be founded on clear, open communication if you want it to stay healthy and successful. So yes, just talk to him about it!

It's expected by most groomsmen that there will be strippers; it's just what the boys do at these things. Often times even when the groom requests "Please no strippers", one of the guys makes it happen anyhow. I told my FH's best man that my only request was no lap dances, and he said of course not, but it happened anyhow because in a big group of guys drinking, it's just gonna happen.

If you trust him, it is important to just keep in mind that he is a guy and will sometimes look at other women. However, he chose you. He is marrying you. And after the guys spend a night getting all "boys will be boys" with him, he is coming home to you!

I just went through this a couple weeks ago and wanted to caution you that it seems like requesting "no strippers" is just setting him up for having to break a promise. You guys should enjoy your parties, not feel guilty at them!

The whole concept of groomsmen and groom going to a strip club and/or getting strippers is so disrespectful tbh. Like, if you have to have a night where random women grind on you and strip in order to be okay with “settling down,” you’re not ready to get married in the first place. I’d be super uncomfortable with it, too, and would talk to the groom and the groomsmen. A lot of times, the groomsmen are the ones orchestrating it, which is just another level of immature and inconsiderate 🙄

View Quoted Comment If a group of guys can’t get together and drink without getting sexual with random women who they’re not dating or married to, we have some really low expectations for men.

Requesting “no strippers” isn’t setting him up to break a promise, but setting expectations for a marriage. Don’t do sexual things with someone you’re not marrying. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Strippers are professionals. They are not interested in your fiance- they are doing their job.

I honestly don't see why this is a big deal. It's naked people and a little bit of rowdy fun.

If his best man and groomsmen want to take him, then it's up to your fiance to say no if he doesn't want to go. If he does, then that's an issue for the two of you to work out together.

Neither of us are going to strip clubs for our bachelor/bachelorette parties, but we do frequent similar types of clubs on a regular basis anyway.

Girl let the man have fun with his friends one last time. He is yours forever right? Chill down a bit.

View Quoted Comment To clarify: I was referring to bachelor parties. If your husband/FH is doing this as a regular thing, there is probably room for concern... And definitely, if he's getting sexual with the strippers, DO NOT marry him, because that is cheating! But looking is not... all men look. Telling him he cannot look makes him more likely to do it behind your back.

My point was, I've known multiple men, including my FH, who said they didn't want strippers or lap dances, but once all the boys are in bachelor party mode, they usually end up at a strip club. If you trust him and know he would not "get sexual" with these ladies, it is unfair to blame him for being one of the guys.

We have a secure, trusting relationship, so I know he was not feeling up or propositioning the women working at the strip club. Men who are sexually inappropriate with women are a whole different story.

View Quoted Comment

I get that guys look - so do girls. But even with bachelor parties, going to a strip club is icky. And just going to look IS sexual in my opinion. It is sexually inappropriate to purposefully go to a place to watch women take their clothes off in a sexual way. It is sexually inappropriate to get lap dances from half-naked women, even for your bachelor party. If you don't feel that way, that's totally fine, but for me, saying that it's "being one of the guys" and just something guys do when they get together is setting low standards for men, regardless of if they're married or not.

I say this because if a woman is uncomfortable with her FH doing this, she should not be told to just let it happen because her FH is just being one of the guys.

FH's bachelor party isn't planned yet, but we've talked about it. We've been to strip clubs together, a birthday party of a friend, and he's honestly super respectful about it. I trust him and I told him if the guys want to go, I don't care, just NO touching. He wouldn't dream of it but his brothers might think it's funny to get him a lap dance. I said I was uncomfortable with it, and he promised if they go he won't. We'll see what they end up doing but I wouldn't be bothered if goes.

Honestly everyone sees this issue differently. If you’re uncomfortable with it then talk to your FH about it. I honestly couldn’t care less if the guys go to a strip club. My FH and I have spoken about this and we have set boundaries in our relationship that work for us. Every relationship is different.

You need to talk to you fh and communicate your feelings. My fh and I aren't doing all that and honeatly I think the whole strip club thing is foolish. We are having time with our friends the week before the wedding though to ease our minds. My fh doesn't care for strip clubs and I've never been to one and I'm definitely not waiting until now to go. But early on we discuss this and he understands how I feel and we mutually agreed to not go even if our friends tried to get us.

I know a few strippers .. honestly they want money .. not your man .. they get hit on all night and learn to just ignore it. Im sure your fiance is just going to have fun . Nothing more .. its entertainment. If ot makes ypu uncomforqble .. he needs to respevt that though

I know my FH and his buddies are going to a strip club for the bachelor party. Doesn't bother me at all.

A grown adult should be able to decided how they choose to spend their time/enjoy themselves without asking for permission.

As long as there is communication, and trust I don't understand why people make this into a big deal. It's almost like the woman who get upset when their SO watches porn... I just think it's silly to get upset and try to control people.