fh not excited about wedding

I'm with your partner on this one. After three kids, I would definitely appreciate a honeymoon more than a wedding.

What is your vision with your wedding? What kind of feel are you going for? Have you nailed down a budget with your partner yet?

Talk to him about how it makes you feel when he says that. I don’t think he’s saying it’s a chore to have a wedding, it might just not be as important to him to the big party as it feels like it won’t change your relationship to him.
Think about it with a different perspective, maybe he already sees you guys as being committed for life so a wedding isn’t that important because he’s already that committed without the papers.
He obviously wants to marry you so don’t stress that he’s not as excited about the actual wedding as you are

3 children in 4 years has no doubt thrust your relationship full throttle ahead so I can fully sympathise with your partner’s mentality (I can’t imagine 2 in 4 years let alone 3, you are superwoman to me!). I wouldn’t look into it too much, I don’t think he sees it as a chore but rather is just overdue for a holiday.

We have have been together 4 years. We have 4 kids (2 from me, 1 from him, 1 from us) and we call each other husband and wife. I am excited to finally be linked to him legally, but he is more excited than me. He actually gets upset that I am not as excited as him. We are already married in our eyes.

Everyone react to a wedding differently. My dh isn’t even excited for his own birthday. I only saw him excited 3x. The times our kids were born. 1st one, he was jumping and running. 2nd, he was excited for maybe 30 minutes. 3rd, maybe 20 minutes? 😂 I should’ve careless how people shows excitement or don’t get excited at all, important is you know how he is.

I hate to say this but it is rare the man is excited about a wedding. It is a female thing. My friend that is currently engaged is going through the same as did I. Mine was more excited about our honeymoon and it did not bother me because ultimately I knew he was doing the big day for me. Do not let that stress you, I feel it is common that brides want the grooms to be as into as they are and they are not. I took my friend to a bridal expo yesterday and a lot of it was brides with their girls because we are going to hype the experience up more than the groom. Does not mean that he does not love you but this is common. Include him where he wants to be such as the cake or something and use your friends to bounce ideas off of and feel excited.

Honestly, men normally aren't very excited about weddings and after 3 children in only 4 years it is understandable why he already feels like you are married. Other than being legally committed, it doesn't sound like too much will change. Marriage was very important to me because in my eyes it shows just how committed you are to one another. However, I also wasn't willing to have children until that commitment was made so for us starting to have children changed after we got married. Also I would guess he is excited more about the honeymoon because that means a break from the children. It sounds like a break with just the two of you would be nice. I can't imagine having 3 children in such a short period of time and maybe he is overwhelmed with having 3 children under 5 years old.

Sorry I should have put more details. FH has 2 teenagers 14, 13 from his previous marriage, we have a 3 year old together. I say "our children" because the teenagers live with us.

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Four years in, you know who he is ("very laid back, shy, minimal"). I wouldn't expect his core personality to change just because you are planning a wedding. I would work together to plan a wedding you can both be interested in, making sure to communicate well and respect each other's opinions. You could divide and conquer (after agreeing on scope, schedule, and budget): let him plan the honeymoon and you plan the wedding.

A lot of grooms are that way. something you can do is assign him something to do that he could be excited over. for instance my husband was in charge of alcohol and he was really into planning that

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