fh told me he wants a prenup

No it’s to protect yourself and him so what your going in with you can take. I would see it as a blessing

I would maybe ask what prompted it and discuss it. They make sense in certain situations, such as if 2 of the parties has a business or family money to protect or something. I can see the other side of feeling like it's a lack of trust too, so I think having an honest (and sober) conversation is important so you could both come to a satisfactory conclusion. If he has a bad history with his ex, it may make sense that he wants to have a pre-nup. No one goes into a marriage thinking it's headed for divorce.

View Quoted Comment

He is still in court with his ex.. But this guy was my first love, first everything. Only reason we broke up was cause we went to different colleges. But, now it feels so cold and untrusting. Idk. it just feels bad. I get that he is hurt by his ex, but i thought we were different.

View Quoted Comment

I have a house I own and rent out. we don't have kids and don't plan to. we are in 40s. He has a pension and so do i. Idk it has me feeling so bad. idk why

We rent a home and rent my house. if that makes sense. He has 4 kids and i have one so we needed a bigger home

He probably could have found a better way to approach it, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him wanting a prenup. It’s smart and responsible to protect your assets. No one wants to go into a marriage with the idea that it could end in divorce, but the sad reality is that it happens.

View Quoted Comment

I guess i am being immature. I just felt like we were more. I feel like he doesn't;t trust me. He says it is to protect me.. why would he want to protect me if i divorce him? Idk its all sad and makes me nervous. not to mention i now need to pay for this..

I agree with Caytlyn. His approach to the topic might not have been the best, but the idea of a prenup is not a bad idea.

View Quoted Comment A pre-nup works both ways. Not only does it protect either of you from taking the others assets in the event that you split, but if written that way, it can also prevent you from incurring the other’s debts. I can understand how this may hurt if you were totally blindsided, but I do think that you need to go into it with an open mind and hear him out.

View Quoted Comment

Ok, I know he has been hurt and is still in court so i do get it.. I just have known him since 15 so idk i felt like we are more.

A prenup would be a dealbreaker for me, but I know many people who have them. I think it's all about perspective. It does protect the woman in many cases and also just makes any divorce smoother.


For me, I don't want to negotiate a prenup with my fiance before we make a lifelong promise to each other. Also my church doesn't have divorce, just annulment, which I don't know if we would qualify for, so I think the odds FH and I are stuck together forever are pretty high.

It’s almost like the idea of divorce is already on the table. Call me old-fashioned, but when you commit to something as big as marriage, you are committing to your finances and 100% trust. There is no “his money” or “your money” at that point. I understand why you’re hurt. Because it’s almost as if he doesn’t take all of those very important factors seriously.

View Quoted Comment

I am so hurt. I have known him since we are 15 . He was my first love, first everything. we met again few years ago in middle of his insane divorce. I get that she hurt him and is in court still to get more child support. we don't plan to have kids. we are older (44) so what do i want from him? He makes a lot more than me so maybe he thinks i will try to screw him out of money? Idk it just makes me feel bad. Also, since his sis is a lawyer and will draft one up , it costs him zero, where I need to pay probably a grand to get a lawyer and have mine .. just sad..

I may be biased because I myself am a lawyer but I really don’t see what’s wrong with this. He’s been scorned before and he wants to ensure his assets (and by default, yours) are protected. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other or how much you trust each other, the point of a prenup is to provide protection for the both of you in the event of a martial breakdown. In the worst case scenario, you’ll spend a bit of money getting legal advice on a document you don’t ever have to rely on. It’s not uncommon for people to feel a bit shocked at the idea of a prenup so I don’t think you’re overacting its just come as a bit of a shock to the system.

View Quoted Comment

100 Percent agree!!!! Plus, he says we both been through a lot yet me and my ex did not fight or screw each other out of one thing. his ex is trying to get anything she can out of him.. he says it is to protect me .. but idk its all so weird to me and cold.

I think prenups are absolutely ridiculous, and I think this is one of the main problems with marriage in 2021. I understand why you feel hurt! It’s almost as if he put the possibility of divorce on the table already! I feel like people forget that you give 100% in a marriage. Once you sign that marriage contract, sorry but yes you should be committing the risk of all of your finances if you truly trust and love and care about the person you’re getting married to. “In sickness and in health, for richer or for poor, till death do you part.... but if we ever decide to get sick of each other, I want my money.” I’m pretty sure that last part is not in the vows if I do recall. Divorce shouldn’t be an easy thing. I feel like he should be risking it all if he’s so sure about getting married. I personally would never get married to a guy that demanded a prenup. I agree with you it is a very cold and sad mindset.

View Quoted Comment

I get it in some ways especially since I have seen what he has been through with the ex.. But he tells me how he loves me forever and trusts me and then this.. it just feels wrong and opposite. Its normal to feel this way though right? ?

View Quoted Comment

I agree so with every word you said. He should be willing to risk it.. If i haven't proved myself yet, idk. I have been through a insane divorce with him , I cannot even tell you how crazy. I am a saint to stick through it all though. My feelings are hurt and I feel very scared that divorce is already an option and we aren't married. He says if i don't intend to divorce him, then none of it is even a concern. I just feel so bad going into this marriage now..

View Quoted Comment

There is no right or wrong way to feel about this as it is your feelings at play here and no one else’s. I will say this much though, generally when people look to have a prenup prepared they are doing so as an entirely precautionary matter and not because they want or anticipate the end of the relationship.

View Quoted Comment

I want to understand it and I get that. but it feels like we don't trust one another. its so sad to me.