Fiance admitted his envious of the friendships i have and other things

Aw man! Well I mean I imagine it is fun to be part of a wedding party (I’ve never been a bridesmaid either lol) but one thing he has to realize which will help is that nothing is ever personal. Sometimes it’s just due to circumstances like maybe his friend/family circle don’t have weddings as often as yours so his chances of being asked are slimmer, this doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with him personally😅 I know that in my family/friends circle weddings are very rare (once every 10 yrs or so) since most just decide to live together unmarried which may be the case for him too? Or perhaps a different circumstance? my fiancé also has never been a groomsman as his family and friend circle also rarely has weddings😅 I actually know waaaay more people that have not been part of a wedding party than those who have😅 Hope this helps💖

How are his relationships with his friends and family? For example, I have a lot of friends and family but we’re not close. It used to make me sad that I didn’t have a group of close friends or a group of cousins/family members that were close knit. This can be sad. Maybe you can just support him and try to empathize with him. Remind him that not everyone has close friends and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with him. In fact, most people I know don’t have a close group of friends, including myself. My husband does though, and it was sad for me for a few years but I worked through that and I don’t feel sad thinking about it anymore. I wish you guys the best and good luck ❤️

This is a first that I have ever heard of this but is a good thing to bring it too our attention. Just in case down the line that might see this in my FH or other men. Ok have you spoken to his friends and family on why they never included him in big milestones events. I'm sorry that he feels this way I dont really ha e any advice but to what I just mentioned but. I can pray that this get resolved so he will feel better but I know that you don't want to travel nor be without him. May God heal this burned off of his heart

Aww, I can totally understand why he feels this way. I'm glad he admitted he knew that these feelings are selfish, because honestly they are. It's okay be to be jealous, but to the point where he doesn't want to attend a wedding that you're in, is a bit much.

Does your FH have any super close friends or family who have excluded him, or is he lacking in super close friends and family in general?

I experienced something similar and realized I had to do something to change it. So I started putting in a lot more effort with my friends and even acquaintances to build better relationships, and it definitely produces some amazing friendships and wedding party experiences. Being in someone's wedding is an honor, and maybe he doesn't put forth enough effort in his friendships? Is he flaky with his friends? I hope that doesn't come off offensively, I'm just shooting in the dark for reasons why he maybe isn't being included by his friends!

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His friends and family have about the same amount of weddings as my friends and family do.

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He has close friends and relatives who have excluded him. My FI has a set of 4 close friends who he hangs out with often. They golf, play cornhole, and go to concerts or sporting events. 2 of those 4 friends are married, but didn't ask my FI to be a part of their weddings. FI has asked them to be in our wedding. I did mention that maybe the other 2 guys will include him if they ever marry, but he says he has his doubts on that.

My FI isn't flaky and he's been there for friends during tough situations. One friend's father passed away this past January and the dad lived several states away and his friend was going through a tough financial situation and my FI paid his airfare so the friend could travel to the funeral and visit family. My FI also allowed another friend to live with him rent free several years back when that friend lost a job and broke his lease because he couldn't pay rent. I think it's hard because he has stepped for friends and also relatives and no one ever includes them in their big days.

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No I haven't spoken to his friends and family about why he's not included in their milestones and I wouldn't speak to them because it's not my place. I'm trying to figure out ways to comfort help/guide him.

View Quoted Comment Ok and yes I can understand that you do want to put on spot I still hope and pray he starts to feel better soon

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It sounds like this is on your FH friends, and that he is being the best friend that he can be. I think by including those friends in his wedding, he has a significant chance of being in the remaining two friends weddings. I hope you can comfort him and let him know he isn't the problem, being left out is still, as an adult, one of the worst damn feelings!

He seems very kind and generous and I pray that the remaining 2 friends will make him feel included, but he also should learn to let the feelings pass. Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing he can do to change the situation because he's already being an amazing friend!

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One of the two remaining friends is someone who bounces around from relationship to relationship and the other friend has three brothers and my FI figures if that friend marries his brothers will be in the wedding automatically there won't be much room for friends.

I don't think comforting him will be enough because being left out always sucks.

Have his friends and family who didn’t include him have large amounts of groomsmen?


Maybe they were very selective and only chose their brother instead of a bunch of friends? This would have zero to do with their relationship with your fiancé and more to do with the fact that they wanted smaller bridal parties.
Another thing to note is that sometimes the bride has a say on the groomsmen. Maybe he would create an uneven amount of groomsmen to her bridesmaids. (I personally wouldn’t be concerned with that but I know many are)